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My partner is constantly saying that I speak to him with attitude which I don’t but he makes a massive deal out of it. And tries to make me feel like I am but I know 100% that I’m not!
He’s constantly having a go at me about it but he kept pushing saying why do you speak to me with attitude I said I don’t but he kept pushing saying I was getting more angry because I choose not to respond. He followed me into the (location removed by Moderator) backed me into the corner and wouldn’t allow me to get passed him despite me asking him to nicely lots of times. He banged his fist onto the (object removed by Moderator) in aggression. When he finally allowed me passed he continued to shouted at me.I realised my hands were shaking he saw this and said (quote removed by Moderator).
He then said (quote removed by Moderator) I still chose not to respond. He then stepped it up to he might as well go end his life -
Our bodies know when we’re unsafe don’t they, no rationalizing that away.
Funny how we end up living with this severe trauma and fear on a regular basis though isn’t it, we’ll I did anyway, and I’m guessing that you probably are too. I bet the shakes are never far under the surface.You know these accusations leveled at you are b******t, you’ve said it. You’ve said that you know 100% that you’re not speaking to him with ‘attitude’ (whatever the hell that’s supposed to mean!)
Fear, Obligation and Guilt keep us trapped in these nasty situations. The guilt that it’s your problem, that you’re just ‘pretending’ to be a victim and that he’ll end his life if you don’t comply with what he wants.
The fear is obvious. The Obligation, if you’re anything like me, I felt an obligation to make things right. To bring a happy ending to this situation. To stick by this person. To not fail at this relationship. And lots else besides.
Well done for not responding, I believe it is the best way.Where do you think you want to go with this relationship? Are you keen to work at it or do you want to leave?
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