Should I feel guilty for feeling so smug?

[Janedoeissad]

I found out he was on a certain social media type website. I found him (I know I shouldn’t have!) and he put a comment about struggling as he knows he is the reason I left. He is struggling to move forward whilst dealing with that feeling, that I left because of him.

Instead of feeling guilty, I feel pretty smug! Yes, I left because of you!! I am glad you see that now. Don’t attempt to get sympathy for it though. It was all your own doing. No health issue makes it ok to threaten people with violence or make them scared. I tried everything to make him feel safe, loved and in a space where he could talk freely and ask me for anything. I got abuse in return.

I don’t even feel guilty at the speed at which I have moved on myself. I just want the last remnants of him gone from my life. I feel (and have felt for a few days now) like I am moving forward, I have choice, I have seriously good options and most importantly, I have so many good things already booked in for this year which I WILL enjoy because he will not be there.

So am I a cold, heartless b***h for feeling this way? Should I be more sympathetic?

[SunshineAngel]

Janedoe,

Thank you for your post. I am so happy for you, that you are so strong and positive. You are an inspiration.

I am so impressed with you, for being able to see through him like that. His post sounds like an attempt to hoover you back, but he has no chance. You are too strong and too smart for him.

I think you are doing great. Enjoy all those nice things you got planned, you deserve good things in your life.

[KIP.]

Try not to get dragged back into the dysfunction. By looking at him online you’ve allowed him back into your head space. The only feeling I think you should have is relief at such a lucky escape. He could be putting a sob story out there to get his next victims sympathy or hoping you would read it and feel anything for him. These men are liars and manipulators. Please go back to zero contact x

[endoftherainbow]

I wouldn’t feel guilty, I think I would be dancing round my Cauldron!!
But I agree with the others, he’s looking for sympathy, and properly doesn’t mean it. It could be to snare another victim, or hoping that you will see it. Its hard not to but its best to not even look at anything to do with him, it just messes with your head x*x

[Janedoeissad]

Thanks all. I am glad his post didn’t freak me out but it would have been my own fault if it did, I was the one who chose to read it! That’s what I told myself before reading the feed.

Sunshinenagel, I think inspiration is a strong word. I have bad days just like everyone else but I am determined to move from victim to survivor as I feel that being survivor puts me in a better place not to tolerate that behaviour again.

KIP, I have realised I don’t want to see his stuff anymore, it doesn’t bring me up nor down. So no reason to do it.

[Author]

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