Should I go full force?

[Losingbattle]

Spoke to a good friend of mine today about what’s been going on. Shes had her fair share of relationship problems so I can always rely on her not to be judgemental. I got onto the subject of finding the right time to get him to leave again, for the final time. Her advice was, due to his aggressive nature is to basically pack his things while hes at work and message him saying it’s not working and if anything starts call the police. I thought about it. It seems quite extreme to me. I can see why she would advise this but I don’t know. Any advice from anyone?

[Fudgecake]

They are at their most dangerous when they think you are leaving. Your friends advice is worth taking. Change your locks and leave his stuff outside in a shed perhaps. Don’t let him in. Contact WA for advice.

[PaleBlueStar]

I’ve recently reached out to a local charity who risk assessed me at high risk of DA. I’ve been referred into a county wide agency who are monitoring me and calling each day.

Her advice today was (I’m in quarantine so it’s very hard) not to tell him it’s over or whatever as he’d be more dangerous. She said that what I should do was ‘friend’ him to try and keep him calm. I think she is a IDVA?

[Losingbattle]

I hate the confrontation. I had considered contacting him while he was out working and basically saying nothing has changed and I want him to leave. Face to face would be too much. However, I was going to allow him to come in for his things mainly because I think locking him and his belongings out would antagonize him more. I don’t know

[Eggshells]

Hello lovely. I think it might be an idea to take advice from the experts. Do you have an IDVA or keyworker from your local charity?

If not you could call Women’s Aid for advice. What is more important than anything else is ensuring that this is done safely. Your local DV charity or Women’s Aid should be able to tell you how that can be done.

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