Should I stay or go ? Some advice needed.

[NewWings]

Finally admitted to myself that I am and have been suffering PTSD. No matter what my mind goes back the abuse and the abuse by proxy of my sister and other women he manipulates. After a vicious verbal attack by him and his brother I have gone completely no contact. Even the merest scrap gets back to him eventually. My sister rings him regularly (detail removed by moderator) and has tried to contact me via FB using old pics of my kids as bait. So sadly I have had to deactivate social media. Mind this was the woman who delightedly went through my eBay and believed a c**k and bull story that I had attacked him so called the police. No matter how outrageous his lies they believe him because I have bipolar. I want to leave my small community because my name is mud in many quarters. But my heart is torn he has the kids who are now young adults. Both need me the eldest is in denial and his fathers way of motivating him is to shout and shout and shout this can go on for hours. The other has special needs but in some way is able to see things very clearly. And has even told my ex to give it a rest. Keeping well is vital for me and I know my husband was behind my last emotional breakdown. I can’t keep going round and round in ever decreasing circles. Somehow he knows where I go and who with. Since I installed cctv inside he hasn’t ventured in. How he knows I have no idea has I haven’t told anyone. I feel he will always try to control me no matter what. The police have warned him off but the non mom is up. He wants revenge and nothing will stop him apart from a very large rock lol. Has anyone on here relocated far from home?

[Lisa]

Hi NewWings,

Thanks for your post. Hopefully some other forum users will be along soon to share their experiences of relocating. Women do it for different reasons; sometimes it’s urgently necessary for safety, sometimes it’s more considered and comes about when you feel you’ve exhausted all other options. Only you can decide, but I’d encourage you to follow your instinct; you’re likely considering it for a reason.
It sounds like your ex is persistent and you’re still feeling the effects of his abuse. If you lived somewhere unknown to him it could help you to feel safe and to focus on your self-care and recovery. Whilst I acknowledge your children are a huge factor and make this a difficult decision, they will benefit from you taking care of yourself.

Keep posting, I hope you can come to a decision that you’re happy with in time.

Lisa

[Author]

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