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Why do I feel stuck like I know logically what I need to do for my teens and for my sanity but I feel like I can’t. I’ve had a say out with a relative they have no idea what goes on. We return home, that’s my kids and me snd it suddenly hits you like a weight on your chest. Back to reality. My (age removed by Moderator), my daughter says hi to her dad my husband but there’s no answer. No acknowledgement, no nod. Nothing. My (age removed by Moderator) says nothing at all just takes himself up.to his room out of the way. Then followed by my daughter and me, back upstairs out of the way of the cold, the silence. It’s painful but we’ve all got used to it, just now and again it stings. We are on week (timeframe removed by Moderator) of this bout of silence. Only this time when I’ve been spoken to, very briefly I just can’t be bothered to be normal to carry out like I Normally would. That is when my husbands ready for the silent treatment to end. Normally I feel bit happier but you them just anticipate the next time, it could be a day, a week away untill I do or say something wrong and we r back to where we started. The silence.
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I hope that makes sense. This is the 2nd time I’ve wrote. Last time the kind response really resided with me. I agree I just need to get out but am so stuck. I keep thinking if I open up on here it kinda makes me see accountable to see what am doing especially to my kids by staying I mean. I’ve never told anyone in my life what’s its like it feels liberating, scary and I feel so guilty but will continue. X
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It makes sense. My husband does the same thing. I’m being treated to silence as well, these past few weeks. It hurts so much. I’m the opposite of you. I’ve tried to explain it other people, but people who haven’t been emotionally abused this way don’t get it. I’ve been told that that’s not so bad. That I just need to try harder to talk, or that all men are like that. But they say that because they’ve never had silence used as a weapon against them. Deliberately meant hurt.
I’m sorry it’s happening to you, and your kids.
It’s really painful. But I don’t think that you should feel guilty. Expressing your emotions, especially ones of pain, isn’t a bad thing.
Anyway, just know that you’re not alone.
Hugs.
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Hi thank you. Good on you for trying to explain it to another person, and yes you are so right it’s emotional abuse, how wrong others don’t see it for what it is. I had no idea in the beginning that’s that what it was. I blamed me and the fact that my husband is a difficult character, it took me a long long time to get to understanding its not me. It was covid times that I started researching and started learning i wasnt the problem. I sense some relatives have an idea that he’s not the easiest person but I still feel too concerned with keeping up the image of everything being OK. I drive myself nuts with this. Its like if I tell them there’s no going back.
Am sorry too that you are going through it. Its such a waste, its deverstating to whoever is on the receiving end isn’t it. Anxiety through the roof, walking on egg shells. It makes you sick. It’s not just silent treatment it’s manipulation and the torment that comes with it. I feel you people should understand the silent treatment is really just the surface of the problems. I hope you find an understanding person who takes you seriously and understands your pain, if not know as you have said you aren’t alone, we know our truth even if others don’t x
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