Sister

[Serenity]

My eldest sister is domineering and, it’s only just occurred to me in this past two years, highly manipulative.

She was very unkind to me when I was at my lowest. It wasn’t just her not knowing what to do: it was proper, abuser-type taking advantage of my pain to make herself feel good, real cruelty.

Anyway, she is lucky I talk to her at all. I rang the other day (removed by moderator) Conversation turned to my children, then somehow to me. She said no one could tell me what to do. That I knew my own mind.

She slipped this slyly into the conversation, manipulatively..

I have tried very hard to get to this place, where I assert myself and know my own mind. I am a good listener and take on others’ expertise. I am always at evil not to control others. My other sister thinks I am not assertive enough!

This just proves that controlling people don’t like others being assertive at all, and will try to make them feel guilty for it.

My younger sister is lovely to me, and encourages me to be more assertive. Abusive types try to shut you up when you show an ounce of independence. 😞

[Serenity]

PS My sister said this to me in a critical way.
As if I should be less assertive.

[Healthyarchive]

I wonder if your older sister really knew what went on in your marriage, or if she is secretly jealous of your independence and strong will? I think my ex’s mask was slipping and that I may have shown him up as I am not abusive and do not need to use such tactics. Maybe your older sister feels in your shadow that is why she is nasty. How is she getting along in her own life?

[Serenity]

Not very well. She is career focused, but her marriage is in tatters. She talks down to her husband.

[Ayanna]

My sister hates me. I hardly talk to her, because only hurtful words come out of her mouth.
Zero contact to family members can be a blessing.

[Healthyarchive]

Sometimes I think that people are spiteful or horrible to others because they are jealous or things are not going well in their own lives. When I was in an unhappy marriage I turned into a bully at work, I didn’t realize it at the time i think it was my release. It sounds like your older sister is envious that you have managed to get out of the misearible marriage whereas she hasn’t. I have a sister but she is a bit of a pain. I try to keep my distance, pleased that I do not have much to do with her. It seems that a lot of women on this forum have problems with sisters. X*X

[KIP.]

My best friend I think is secretly jealous of my independence now. She sees me flourishing after years of not even having the confidence to look people in the eyes. I went on a dating site a while ago, had a couple of dates which were fun but I’m not looking for a partner yet so nothing came of it. Anyway, I was talking enthusiastically and having a real laugh texting this guy when she says, “you ought to be careful you’re supposed to be a rape victim”! Where the hell did that come from?? I do see some envy, and she pulled the rug right from under me, the way my ex used to do when he saw me happy and confident. Even my son, after his dad was arrested, drew me nasty looks when I was having fun and laughing out load. It’s like they can’t stand to see me happy. Maybe it’s as simple as jealousy X

[Ayanna]

I agree with you KIP.
The friends I thought to have were so jealous, they were unable to hide it.
One so called friend had a go at me when I invited her to my new place. She shouted at me that I could not afford this place and how could I buy that furniture and stuff when I had to go through all the court trials. She was so upset that I had really pretty furniture and a garden.
Another so called friend shouted at me during a phone conversation when I told her that I had booked a hotel somewhere by the sea as I wanted to chill out. She told me off for spending money. She had let me down before and had said to me that she would not let me stay with her. She is history too.

[Serenity]

It’s such a pity, but I think it’s true. I can’t believe my sister acts so primitively, but there you go.

My younger sister says my elder sister was always bullying, but I never saw it. I looked up to her too much as my big sister.

Back to keeping her at a distance again! X

[betterdays]

My sister has a streak of evil in her I’m sure. She’s totally horrible to the core. She’s got my mum to fall out with me too now. She wabts money of me and wants me to drive her about even drop my own boys. If I say no she will go all out to destroy me she’s very jealous x

[Author]

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