So angry and upset

[EbonyRaven]

So, everything has been delayed, because the solicitor at the domestic abuse service gave me wrong information! I’d wound myself up so tightly for this, and to have it put back for something so simple (I can’t really say what, but I could have made arrangements for it if I’d known), is so upsetting.

It’s not even the non-refundable hotel room, although that’s an expense I could do without. It’s all the mental preparation I’ve done, just seems to have been swiped in one fell stroke. All that anticipation, stress and fear is being prolonged.

I am incandescent with rage, and in floods of tears, scared he’ll hear me crying, and want to know why. I suppose he’ll get out of bed soon so the timing is just perfect. (Not!). And, yes it’s 2.45 and he’s still in bed.

I feel like the world is out to get me! I must have been so bad in a past life if Karma’s dropping this on me now.

[KIP.]

Nothing is certain in the justice system. It must be really frustrating. No wonder you’re upset. Can you change the locks when he’s out. Is it your home in your name? Change the locks. Pack his stuff and ring the police if he causes trouble. I fear even with a court order asking him to leave. He won’t.

[EbonyRaven]

The frustrating thing is that it was a solicitor’s advice, and at a centre for domestic abuse, so you’d think she’d have done some research. I really hope she doesn’t cause some other woman to be put in danger.

I wish he would go out so I could do that. He never goes anywhere at all when I’m here. Ever. That’s also massively frustrating.

Once I have the order then the police can remove him, they’ve said, because he’ll be breaking it by not leaving.

It is really getting to me also that right now he’s pretending everything is ok, and we’re the best of friends. Calling me sweetheart, and trying to show me cute youtube videos or discuss news items (only ones he is interested in of course). (Detail removed by moderator). I feel like I’m slowly spiraling into complete madness some days.

[Iwantmeback]

I’m sorry to hear things didn’t go well for you ebonyraven. A simple mix up, lack of understanding, it’s so frustrating especially when we are trusting and paying these people to work for us as they’re the ones who were supposed to know this side of life,a life we’d much rather not know a d..ned thing about. Funny my oh shows me nonsense from fb too, stuff I’m not a bit Interested in and has taking to calling me nicer names(at times) Mind games that’s all it is.
Better luck for the next time, make sure you’re solicitor had her information to a T next time, or refuse to pay on grounds on negligence or causing unnecessary anxiety .
IWMB 💕💕

[EbonyRaven]

Thank you IWMD, you’re always so kind. I really admire how you give so selflessly to all the ladies here.

All that stuff above is a bit redundant now anyway. He threatened to kill me last night, with a weapon in his hand.
I managed to get away from him and call the police. They’ve taken him away and I’ve been giving statements all night. They’ve just finished and gone now.

I won’t go into detail about what happened exactly just now, as I don’t want to make Lisa’s job harder.

I’m safe though, and have all the keys to the house. I’ll phone my surgery later on and ask for the doctor to call, to run through it with them.

[she-ra]

What an ordeal for youbut so glad you are ok and well done for bring brave and ringing the police. Fingers crossed this is the start of the rest of your life in peace and safety. Lots of love sent your way. X*x

[KIP.]

Just want to send support and a big 🤗 hug. I’ve been where you are and it was a blessing. Don’t get me wrong it was dangerous and scary but you’re safe and he has been removed. Change the locks today. Don’t trust he hasn’t copied your keys. It’s not too expensive and well worth the peace of mind. Get his belongings in bags and out quickly. Give them to any mutual friend or even dump them at the police station. It’s saved you much time and money going through the civil courts paying for something that was actually crim8nal in the first place. When you feel better put in a complaint against that solicitor who messed up and get your money back and make sure she doesn’t fail other women. Well done. Be kind to yourself. Force yourself to eat/drink and get some good counselling in place x

[EbonyRaven]

Thank you both. Kip, you always think of the little things, it would never even have occurred to me he’d have copied a set.
I have to go to the video evidence suite to talk about some things, and I think I’ll go and get something really nice to have for tea, and some chocolates on my way back, so I am more tempted.
The domestic abuse team at the station tell me there will be on hand support at the suite and they can probably refer me to some counselling too.
I’ve spoken to his parents, and promised to update them later too. I am worried about telling my daughter as she suffers from depression and it’s a lot to take in. I’ll cross that bridge later though.
Right now I’m going for a hot shower.
x

[diymum@1]

I just wanted to add my support ER, I really feel your pain and I honestly don’t think that you should have been put in this position. Your safety was put in jeopardy, definitely report this for other women going through this. Truly shocking what you’ve faced. Youll get through this 🙂 stay strong much luv diymum xx

[she-ra]

Keep going Hun you’re doing fab x*x

[KIP.]

Please do not speak to his parents. This is a mistake, blood is thicker than water and it’s best that you cut contact at least until this legal part is over. It they are decent human beings they will respect your wishes. If they don’t you will know they’re on his side one hundred percent. Dont rush to speak to your daughter, your still traumatised and in shock so remember doing nothing is an option. Take all the help offered to you. It’s good to have something nice planned for after talking about the abuse as there often comes an aftershock. I used to get a MCFlurry on my way back. Plan treats for yourself and tell the police everything. Jot down some notes and thoughts and maybe the rough chronology of abuse. You’re being brave and strong. You can do this x

[Iwantmeback]

Oh Ebony I’m so sorry to hear this, hope your bearing up okay. He’s done you a huge favour hasn’t he, the ego on him!! Definately get the locks changed, KIP is very wise💜
Have you got anyone who can be with you when you get back home. The police will probably give you the number to victim support too. The best of luck for the coming days, big big hugs to you.
Stay strong, tell the police everything you can remember, don’t worry if you can’t, you have time to get it all out.
I wish I could be there for you but I’m sure you have people who love you and will be.
It’s not your responsibility to tell his parents anything, step back from them a bit. This is your time now.

IWMB 💕💕

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