So hard not to cave

[Angels wings]

I told my husband that I eantvto seperate a (removed by moderator) ago. (Removed by moderator) to finish of around the house before its sold (a complicated situation where we have no choice unless we stay together) it made me so emotional as I know I’m losing everything. My children don’t want us to seperate but understand you all but the youngest who is unaware. My hubby is being the model husband kind chatty thoughtful. Not being horrible at all it’s all very amicable. I know he wants another chance and to try to work it out. I haven’t spoken to my mum for months she’s not easy either can be emotionally manipulative and needy expecting me to drop everything for her. She hates my hubby one because he stands up to her but also because she’s witnessed how he can be to me. They do not get on. She’s been a used all her life by parents then by men almost killed on numerous occasions. If I don’t leave she and my other family will think I’m nuts. It would be so easy to forget my problems again and carry on as usual. It’s so hard to be strong. It’s like I wipe everything from my mind like it’s not real or hasn’t happened, yet I’m akeays miserable. It’s like I’m going mad. Do you know what’ve mean. I need to sort my head out that’s got sure. Thanks for reading x

[Hopesprings]

I know that feeling. If you can get out of that house because it will make things harder. Abusers are very good at being model citizens when they feel like it. It won’t last. You’re doing the right thing by not being with this man anymore. Can’t you take your children to refuge? It’s hard to be strong but worth it in the long run. Xx

[Falling Skys]

Hi aw

I am stuck with my abuser till the house sales.

It might be worth getting it valued as is as it might not make a lot of difference to the price. The whole finishing things off is a stalling tactic.

Also with the age of your children you might have grounds to have him to leave.

Mine is a charmer when he has an audience and looking a victim.

Sad to say owning a property together makes this leaving process so much harder.

Get legal advice some solicitor offer a free first appointment.

Good luck

FS xx

[Angels wings]

Thanks for the sdvice, I’m speaking to a solicitor informally in the week, when I say finishing off the (removed by moderator) is currently ripped out lol, it don’t be a huge amount to do other than but can’t be left. It’s so horrible makes me question myself every time. I think I might call women’s aid or try up get hold of my caseworker from before. The other thing is offering to buy stuff for the children and talking about other things he never wanted to do before. It’s tactics. I’m letting him buy for the children but I think they see through it anyway I’ve spoken to them before about people buying affection but actions and behaviour freak louder than words. X

[Falling Skys]

Just watch how it goes, mine made the hall way decorating lasted nearly three decades.

Mine is always taking our son out now and buying big gifts and Im sure he’s doing it to our daughter and grandchildren. I will not play these games even it I could afford it.

Good luck with the solicitor the longer it drags on the nastier it gets.

FS xx

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