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Hi , im new here. So iv been in a relationship for (detail removed by Moderator) years, we was engaged, and planning the wedding. But iv found out that he has been living a double life and cheating on me for (detail removed by Moderator) years. Claiming to be single.. visiting swingers clubs behind my back and sleeping with women at MY house when im out. Iv seen pictures :,-( … We have three children. Two are mine from
Previous relationship and one is his (he has full custody of him). (detail removed by Moderator) ago, everything kicked off because i found out, it got violent (i attacked him) and he left.. with his son. He filmed the attack on his phone and took it to the police so i was arrested (iv never ever lost my temper like that before and im ashamed) bit because (detail removed by Moderator)i cant even contact him and it feels like he has died!!!! Im devastated. I was so so happy! And i thought he was too! He kept asking me for a baby, we was planning to buy the house… i just dont understand. Valentines day he poured his heart out to me and told me he loved me ao so much. The way he spoke About me to friends , family, social media… was just perfect! Im lost. I keep crying uncontrolably, i cant eat, i cant sleep, im having panic attacks every day.. the pain is so so so bad. I miss him so much! I miss our connection, the love, the affection, i miss my best friend And im struggling to accept that hes not the man i was engaged too! Im
Devastated and dont know what to do or how to cope! -
Just wanted to say how awful that must have been for you. When we see their true colours it’s really hard for us to believe they could be that person. Sadly they wear a mask for us. The real person is obviously someone unbelievably nasty and destructive. Recording the assault and showing it to the police was despicable. It makes me think it was staged this way, to make him look like the victim in all this. I wonder if this was part of his plan all along. Has he been abusive in other ways towards you? It might be worth ringing the helpline number on here and chatting to someone at women’s aid. You might want to visit your GP meantime for some counselling. There may be a waiting list. It might not feel like it just now but these feelings will pass and eventually you will realise you e had a lucky escape. You can also ring Rights for Women for some free legal advice x hang in there x
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Oh this is dreadful; (detail removed by Moderator) You really don’t want to be with someone that has done this to you, and in your own home! Shows zero respect, sounds like this man will always please himself with no regard for anyone else. It’s times like these when I think of karma! Nothing good will come to him if he behaves like this – for sure!
It’s been a shock and your head and heart are no doubt spinning; and it all came to end in an instant, so no time to prepare hey. It may well be a good thing you don’t see him ever again. Endings like this often leave us with so much inside that we didnt get to say.
I’ve written tons of letters to him in the past to help me get it out, with the intention of never sending, purely for me and my own process to help me think about what I’d like to say – it can help. After, I file it away in a box on my computer, should I need to refer to it again. Although, I’ve never re read any of them. The act in doing this somehow seems to help me box it psychologically.
Be with those you love and who love you now and pull in your support. So sorry to read what you are going through. FL.x
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This is very sad. I think we can relate to the utter shame andcket down when we discover the man we loved and believed was a liar and a cheat.
Has he been physically or mentally abusive before?
He’s not a decent human being after cheating on you and losing to you.
Where is your son now?!what are the police doing since your arrest. Hold onto any proof you had.
I wrote letters to my ex and eventually sent one. It was a powerful letter highlighting his tixic abuse and I told him to stop contacting me. He stopped because he is scared I’ll go to the police.
I would be careful from now on what you say to him.
Self care as much as you can. Slow steps x
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