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So I’ve decided I’m leaving. I kind of have to, there has been a MARAC meeting and they want me out asap. Classed as high risk.
thing is, he’s been really nice this weekend. I know it never lasts long, but it’s just so confusing… the guilt I’m feeling towards leaving with the little ones is immense. He was generally a good dad… it’s his actions towards me and my older children that weren’t and the things he’s said and done. Chances are when they get older he will be the same with them.
I guess it’s just sinking in, I’ll have to start from scratch. They’re moving me further afield so no friends or family nearby. I need everything brand new again, need a car, literally everything.
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I am sorry you’re feeling like this. I think it’s only natural. Deep down you must know you’re doing the right thing. This not an easy thing but it’s the right thing.
Can I ask how MARAC works when you’re high risk and have kids? Do social services intervene and want you out asap ? I’m curious to know as I suspect I’d have to go through the same. I hope you don’t mind me asking x -
You are definitely doing the right thing and you can do it! It might seem daunting and at times it will be difficult, but you will have your own space and freedom.
There should be charities who will help with providing you with furniture etc and help you rebuild a home. Although moving away may seem difficult, I am still in the same area as mine and have pretty much lost everything anyway including friendships, but the downfall is he’s not far away and I wish i had the option to go further afield and completely start afresh.
Please remind yourself of how strong you are to have gotten to this point, don’t second guess or believe he will change. Stand tall and be proud of yourself. This will be a new beginning for you and I am sending strength and hugs xx
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Thank you so much. I really do appreciate the kind words. I know u can go through with it, there’s a very special occasion- b-day next week.do I stay for it or leave before. I know he will never forgive me if he misses it x and it will probably make him go off the scale angry.
there have been harsh words also. He says I can’t parent my teenager, says it’s all their fault we argue and why he’s feeling ill with stress. He’s trying to shift the blame for his recent actions and get the blame onto someone else, they only have to breathe wrong for him to kick off and have a go.
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This sounds so familiar to me, it’s so scary leaving and it’s not the starting again with furniture etc that’s worrying me it’s the reaction, the way I think he will use my kids against me, the anger when he finds out we are scared of it. I should have left many years ago, I looked at an old post and it was 5 years ago, why did I not leave then? It hasn’t got any better my kids have just got older and they are more aware. My child is begging me to leave now and I know I have to do it for them, I grew up with abuse, never feeling safe in my own home and I need this cycle to end, I need them to see it’s not ok.
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