So lost

[TrueBlue22]

Hi all,

I’m feeling so stressed and lost. I moved me and my 2 children, (detail removed by moderator) in with my partner (detail removed by moderator), we planned to get married. Since day 1 that I moved in things got bad. He was grumpy and moody and said it was a mistake straight away. We also live with his adult son (detail removed by moderator) His son is also volatile and aggressive to me, neither have ever hit me. They are verbally abusive, calling my children nasty names (detail removed by moderator). They both also slate me and my children to the rest of their family and even say I’ve said things I haven’t said. All I have asked for is for them not to verbally abuse my children and for my partner to speak to his son about not having respect for me. My partner said its his child’s house and always will be and he isn’t going to speak to him. My children are autistic and have ADHD and one has been physically abusive to me, prior to living here and during living here. My partner blames everything on my children and says their adult child isnt in the wrong, evwn when that child has shouted insults at me from everything being calm, my children and one of his defended me and my partner shouted insults at my children and refused to speak to their child and tell them off, then and since. Since all the arguing, I have a tremor, a nervous twitch, have been to the doctors who said I have a high heart rate and high blood pressure and prescribed me anti depressants. I’m shaking and have chest pains throughout the day and night and can’t sleep very well. When I write and read this I can see how it is but I feel like I love him so much I’m scared to be without him. I also don’t know where to turn, we moved 100 miles away from my friends and family to be with him. I pay him half my wage to live here, despite him being a higher rate tax payer and on 3 times my salary, his child pays nothing to live here and acts like its his house and I have no say. I can’t even chose a TV show. (detail removed by moderator). I can’t private rent unless my partner helps me with the upfront cost and even then its so much more expensive here than back home with friends and family but I also don’t want to move my child out of school. (detail removed by moderator). I just feel so stressed and so lost.

[Lisa]

Hi,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. What you described sounds really intimidating and it must feel like you are on edge. Its not acceptable for him and his son to treat you and your children in this way. He will know you are feeling trapped. Your safety and wellbeing is really important.

You may want to contact your local domestic abuse service for support with your situation. They can help you with making a safety plan to leave if that is what you want.

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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