So ugly

[Sunshines]

So it’s peaceful and it silent

Feels weird but enjoying the peace

So are my children!

However I’ve got lots of plans coming up this year and I feel so ugly

Too Ugly to go!
Too ugly to want to stand aside anyone who’s not been through what I have
Too Fat

I’ve started a diet but I feel no matter what I’m ugly.

I look in the mirror and what I see makes me so unhappy
I don’t know if it’s the extra weight I’ve put on
I’ve always thought I was attractive
But now I feel the ugliest I have ever felt

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Sunshines

You will get there, it will all fall into place once the peace and quiet starts to let you heal and begin to build your confidence in yourself again. You have had years of ugly words and life hurled at you, take it slow, you will again feel that you are great, and you are.

You have nothing to hide, and no shame, its his abuses and his shames. Start small, just doing little trips out to enjoy life with the children. Sharing activities with the children without all the fear for you all will begin to show you all how good life can be, and this will reflect in your mood and confidence. The children will be happier and so will you.

If you don’t feel up to any of the plans, there is no absolute requirement on you to be there, and guilt must’nt feature in your decisions, you’ve already done and been subjected to too much of that. This is the time to do it differently and within your own control. Take back the control and power of your life little by little. You can do this. You have whole summer ahead of you, being free with the children.

warmest wishes

ts

[nbumblebee]

I get how you feel sweetie I really do Im still here and hate the person I have become. But you wont always feel this way you just wont. I wrote this to try and give myself a talking too on my bad days hope it helps.

My friend I have a question I’d like to ask
look in the mirror, and take off your mask
Look deep down inside that girl who is she?
Who is the woman in the mirror you see?
“My friend I will answer but you wont like what you hear,
I Struggle to look, that girl fills me with fear
For she is broken, sad, tired and worn
She is someone who wishes she had never been born.
She is a daughter a friend a mum a wife
She is tired of fighting every day of her life
But as I look a little closer a spark lights inside
A small glimmer of hope that I no longer want to hide.”
Let me tell you my friend what I see in you
There is pain and there’s sadness that much is true
But I also see beauty, Yes I see cracked but I dont see broken
I see a warrior with a story waiting to be spoken.
Yes I see a daughter a friend a mum a wife
But I also see a strong determined woman fighting for a good life.
So say it with me my friend say it strong say it loud
I am a strong beautiful woman, of me I am PROUD.

[Twisted Sister]

oh my goodness nbumblebee! That is so moving. I truly hope you believe all that you have written and that you can indeed see that woman inside, the strength, the beauty…the friend xx

[nbumblebee]

Thank you.
Not yet not me but im hoping that this helps others and if I keep reading it one day I will believe it. X

[Author]

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