So worried

[Whosthatgirl]

Keep reading about children not being believed and forced to see their fathers. My eldest threatened to kill himself if forced and now my ex is filing for custody. Ive done everything i can to do the right thing but it’s so hard to imagine a positive outcome when dealing with someone who always seems to get their way. Im sick to my stomach at the thought of facing him in court but know he’s banking on me falling apart while he plays the victim. My son says he will run away and i think he will if it all goes wrong. feel so hopeless.

[diymum@1]

if you can prove through a therapist this is how he feels the court will stop it they did for us xxxx

[diymum@1]

same senario xx

[Whosthatgirl]

Oh his counsellor believes him thank goodness. she said she thinks he’s at risk of self harm which is awful. At least its not just my word. Thanks x

[KIP.]

Keep a detailed journal of everything. Keep reassuring him you will fight for him. Abusers are liars and the Judge saw right through my ex. She actually said she discredits everything he said. It’s not surprising you’re worried but gather backing from your GP, women’s aid, any other organisations that can help too x keep thinking outside the box. Maybe his teacher can help him.

[RainbowsandSunshine]

I was forced to leave my ex partner by professionals and we were relocated by the professionals and now I’m being told that I should feel sorry for my ex partner because he can’t see the kids. Then to top it off ss keep telling me that sex offenders see their children so that means that my children will be forced to as well. They like yours keep telling (even ss) that they don’t want to see him and have refused multiple times to even do Skype contact.
I can hear exactly what you are saying and it’s so sad that the kids views aren’t listened to. I get that they are kids, but they know their own mind. My kids are (detail removed by moderator). They know what they want.
Love and hugs to you xxxx

 

[Whosthatgirl]

Thank you all. Its hard but I’ve let my children down with by staying with him (he left but wanted to come back). I’ve got to protect them now i know. The little one misses him but has also said some terrifying things recently. i know they aren’t safe with him.

[KIP.]

Please don’t ever think you have let your children down. There is only one person in all of this who has let them down and it’s not you. If you carry the guilt then he won’t have to. WA say on average a woman leaves and returns 7 times to her abuser. No one underestimates the hold abusers have over us. I stayed to protect my child and lost him anyway to his fathers manipulations and victim blaming. Just keep going and practically keep writing everything down. Dates and events and witnesses x

[diymum@1]

sometimes we cant do right for doing wrong in this situation. we often dont know where to turn or what to do for the best for the kids. i was exactly the same. after two decades i now realise i should have gotten shot off him for all of our sakes 20 years ago but i didnt for many reasons – FOG fear obligation and guilt.

you can do this (stop the contact) through the courts with enough evidence – he is feeling desperate this has to be recognised this cant be forced its about choice for him xxxx love diy mum

[RainbowsandSunshine]

You sound like an amazing mummy, please don’t be hard on your self for trying. I think that is what we do best. We hope and pray that things will get better but alas they don’t. Xxxx

[diymum@1]

you sound like an amazing mum! im looking at the family rights group web site lots of really helpful stuff – lots of reading but it does state they must protect. still reading lol dont give up this will turn out fine xxxx love diymum

[Whosthatgirl]

Thanks so much for your support. I will keep going. though I’m knackered i am so much stronger without him. i know i can do this x

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