Something everyday

[Blankcanvas]

(detail removed by moderator) my ex called my place of work. He called so many times. He refused to take no for an answer.
(detail removed by moderator) he said.
I refused to answer the phone, my (detail removed by moderator) answered and by this point ex was mad. By manager thought it best for me to leave early to avoid conflict as he threatened to come to my place of work.
Police were called. Said they’d send someone out. No one came.
I want to feel safe. Protected.
He’s turned up the house, school, pestering my work line into double figures.
How much longer is this going to go on for.
I’ve asked for help
But no one is getting involved

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Blankcanvas

That sounds awful for you and very stressful in your work situation trying to manage his abuse this way.

If you have an HR dept you can go to, it would be worth explaining this to them, that you cannot stop him and he’s threatened to come to your work, does the building have any security, as they would also rather have fair warning of any behaviour they may need to manage, and to simply call the police as he’s not welcome and its harrassing.

Do your neighbours know also? Sometimes its very helpful for the neighbourhood to be aware of a lurker and know that they need to call police to remove him as he’s unwelcome and harrassing. I don’t how your neighbourhood are, but there may be some to you say a little to, just to be on the lookout for him. You’d be surprised how much others see around and they could be very supportive and be excellent witnesses to your allegations against him. Same for school. Speak to teachers and any school security staff, or those letting children out after school to know to wait for you, and not him.

I honestly don’t know why these men think that any of this is ok, and I feel for you. Do you have any local support, like from a DA service who could perhaps help you to manage the police reporting?

You did right to ignore all his calls, but letting those around you know will help greatly to realise this isn’t something you want and actively trying to avoid.

warmest wishes
ts

[Watersprite]

Hi Blankcanvas sorry to hear you are experiencing this, post separation abuse is very common. The only way I stopped it was police involvement and repeated court orders. And even now something minor has happened that leaves me thinking he has found us yet again! I got a non molestation order the NCDV helped me do it and they were so good didn’t have to pay. It is good your employer etc know as it helps with evidence and support. If police aren’t acting and you want their involvement go back make a fuss you deserve protection and support. It is their job and not sending someone in this situation is just not ok! Have you got an IDVA ? They can provide good support I got one through police and social services but you could contact a local DA charity or women’s aid. He sounds a nasty piece of work well done for leaving. You are not alone xx

[Lazarus17]

Hi Blankcanvas. It’s horrible, I know 😞 Are you keeping a diary of events? If not, I would do – date, time, nature of event, witnesses etc. You’ll need this for the police. Oh and keep on at them, by the way – difficult, I know, but again, keep details of who you speak to and when.

Stalking/harrassment after leaving an abusive relationship can be quite common I understand 😞. If you are in touch with WA, they may refer you to a specialist stalking advocate. If you’re not, then get in touch with them! They can really help!

In answer to your question “how long does it go on?” I’m afraid it’s anyone’s guess 😞 but I’d say the sooner you take action, the better.

Stay strong and good luck x

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