Sometimes I feel sad about the way I behave with my new partner.

[Sunflower14]

I came out of a toxic relationship filled with physical and emotional abuse. Over time, I chose to give myself a chance with a man who is completely different from my abuser. So different, in fact, that sometimes I doubt the way he treats me—because he is truly kind. And that makes me feel bad.
I’ve realized that my body and mind became used to living in a constant state of alert, and that the trauma I experienced left a deep mark. Right now, my former partner has a restraining order preventing him from approaching either my son or me.
I now see that I need therapy to better understand and manage my behavior. Sometimes I catch myself acting controlling—like my abuser once did—and it scares me. I’m afraid it might wear down my relationship, even though I’m fully aware that my current partner hasn’t given me any reason to act that way.

[Lisa]

Hi Sunflower14,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the forum. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

You might find it helpful to look into Bloom. You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries. Bloom can be found here.

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Author]

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