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Hello ladies
I’m in a situation where my son is having a lot of contact with my husband because (detail removed by Moderator) ill. My husband is looking after her at his house because I’m not well enough to look after her and my son is working. When my son returns from my husband, its like he’s morphed into my husband and criticises me. I miss (detail removed by Moderator) too. My son says he’s happy with the situation. I would be grateful for any thoughts on my situation please. Thank you. Take care ladies. Toffeeapple x
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Obviously a lot has been removed but all I can say is it really sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I had to tackle this with my adult sons as they were young men who showed me little respect.
It was HARD. Both of them cut me off. One came back, changed. We are now close and though he still sees his father, he will take none of his shenanigans and has told him if he doesn’t behave he will not be allowed in his life end of.
The other one sees neither of us, sadly. Breaks my heart because I’m really not sure I deserve that.
That’s the problem though if they grow up seeing you as weak/people pleasing they really don’t like it when you say no.
The children were part of the picture too and though he never abused them the way he did me or even directly in front of them, except once when the eldest was a toddler, they still grew up in a really unhealthy atmosphere. Kids are like sponges and it ALWAYS affects how they view life.
I have to live with that guilt, but I wasn’t going to allow even an adult son to treat me like poo. I don’t deserve that either and we do have the right to stand up for ourselves. It was hard won. Standing up to it also teaches them its not acceptable. Hard as it is. But I don’t regret some things. I might have lost one son but the lesson that you will be challenged for poor behaviour is still in his mind. Maybe its changed the way he moves through life. It certainly did with eldest.
I don’t think its a good idea to just accept it from your son. As hard and as horrible as it is x
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