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I’m sat at the local swimming pool sobbing whilst I write this because I feel so lost and humiliated.
My children have swimming lessons this afternoon and my eldest is being horrid. Verbally abusing his brother and hitting and pinching him, refusing to go swimming, calling me stupid, saying he wants to kill me and refusing to listen to me. It’s ended up with him pushing a table and chairs into me after I repeatedly asked him not to because it hurts. He then ran away and refused to come back. He refuses to accept responsibility for his behaviour and blames me and his brother.
I know all the other parents were watching and making judgements. The thing is he was fine when I picked him up from school. He’s just turned for no reason. He’s seeing his dad tonight and he says he doesn’t want to go but I can’t be sure if he’s just using that as an excuse to be unkind.
I just don’t know what to do. I feel hurt and humiliated.
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Please don’t think you are being judged. I used to feel this way and it was because I had so little confidence because of the abuse. Most parents are sympathetic when the see this kind of behaviour. We have all been through it. Just tell him when he is calm that his behaviour is not acceptable. Especially violence which is illegal. Not sure what age he is but there are consequences to bad behaviour. When he is calm you can tell him this. You’re probably stressed too as contact with our exes is toxic too. Big hug❤️ You will bounce back X
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Sending you a big hug too. I found this book really helpful. It helps explain the children’s behaviour and gives really good advice on how to deal with it. It really helped to boost my confidence to manage challenging behaviour.
When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse by Lundy Bancroft
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