Staying in a refuge and chances of getting back to your property

[Ballerinashat]

Hi,
Im new to the forum.
does anyone know if stating in a refuge can reduce my chances of getting the right to reside in my property with children after the divorce?

Me and my abuser own the house jointly. He refused to to move out . I have been the main carer for our kids , he has much better earnings than me  . I have to move out because his behaviour during the divorce is devastating my emotional and mental health .
Ideally , I would like to come back to the property with children after the divorce is finalised .
I asked my solicitor but maybe someone here will know something before she replies.

many thanks

[Marmalade]

Hi welcome to the forum,

Im sorry but your question is one that no one here can answer as the answer will be specific to your financial circumstances.

Whether the house is sold, or one party can remain living in it, will depend on the assets and income available. In a large number of cases the house has to be sold and proceeds divided, but I can’t say if that will happen to you.

Your solicitor will be able to advise you as they know your whole financial circumstances. Hopefully it won’t be long before they respond to you.

Good luck with it all.

[Lisa]

Hi Ballerinashat,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. I hope you find the forum a safe and supportive place to be with others who understand.

If you need any guidance on using the forum you can find this in the Forum Guidelines and FAQs. If they don’t answer your question then please feel free to message me.

If you feel like you need some additional support, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline is available for free, 24/7 on 0808 2000 247. You can talk to their team online Monday to Friday 10am-10pm and 10am-6pm on weekends.

Do keep posting to let us know how you’re getting on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
(Forum Moderator)

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Ballerinashat

I would highly recommend contacting Rights of Women, who can talk you through your specific legal situation with regards to domestic abuse, with recommendations on how to approach it, given the circumstances.

My instincts and own experiences would lead me to believe that it will all hinge around the outcome of custody for the children, and therefore evidencing of domestic abuse. If you have evidence you can use this now to secure an occupation and a non-molestation order, to ensure you have safe residency in the family home. It doesn’t have to cost anything, and is free to download on the government website, but, as you are going through a divorce it is essential that you gain legal advice before taking steps in any way. The Rights of Women is run by legally qualified staff, in this area, and it’s free, but can be hard to get through to, might take some perseverance on your part.

Good luck, and hope you don’t have to lose or risk losing yours and your children’s home.

I often think that it should be the children who get to stay in one place and the adults that should move in and out!! Poor kids, and if the father is abusive, he doesn’t get to move in at all. That’s just my own conclusions from my own trials!

warmest wishes

ts

[Marmalade]

Hi Ballerinashat,

I think your post is specifically on whether you can stay in your property to live after a divorce and whether the fact you have left to stay in a refuge counts against you. Non mol and occupation orders are short term remedies that don’t go to the heart of your question. I am also a big fan of Rights of Women but they provide legal advice when you don’t have your own solicitor, and they won’t have seen all your paperwork whereas your own solicitor should have. The last thing you need is competing legal advice based on differing information.

Living in a refuge with kids temporarily is unlikely to be a bar to returning to a house with kids. As a legal owner you have the right to return anytime until the divorce is sorted. Yes you are out of the house, but as the house is sorted out as part of the divorce, who if anyone lives in the house going forward is sorted then. In an ideal world, you living with the kids in the house with him paying would be the situation. But, this depends on who the kids live with and how much money there is. In financial proceedings on divorce the starting point is 50/50 and then needs are looked at with the children being a major consideration. No one here can know your personal financial situation so we can’t say how likely it is that you will stay in the house/the house will be sold/who the children live with. Your solicitor will have all your financial paperwork so will be able to advise on the likely outcome. They will be the person to go to. Good luck. This is a v stressful time. Hopefully the divorce will be finalised soon.

[Author]

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