still living separately

[bluebird28]

can i ask, sorry but really confused, i am not doing well mentally, i feel something as he is being so nice for a while now which is since he knows i find him controlling and said i want to separate, am i being funny if i don’t go out as  a family with my husband and play happy families? he wants me to come and take our child out together, we live separately in the same house  In am worried i will send the wrong signals as i want this relationship over and can’t wait to get out, and live my life my way, i try and not spend time with him, is that ok? he has been abusive in every way in the past and i feel now there is no way i am staying with him,i am getting help and determined to go and not go back to him again, not had this strength in the past.

[Lisa]

Hi bluebird28,

Thank you for sharing with us. It is understandable you feel confused by his behaviour. Abuse is about power and control so he will try to maintain the control over you by continuing to push boundaries and this can often be via children. It is confusing and exhausting to deal with.

I hope posting on the forum is helping, and the help you have in place is supportive- do keep posting when you can.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Maybe]

Hi. I think from reading and reading on here it’s completely normal to feel like that and to feel guilty.

I do too live together but don’t go into together or even sit together each evening. We, meaning me and the kids basically reside upstairs other than we we have the house to ourselves or eat dinner at the table. We even eat dinner now separate.

You go through the motion of having a problem, arguing or mostly being shouted at, then the silent treatment. Then after a while we get spoken to but we don’t get too comfy as the next issue could me a moment, a day or if you are lucky a week a away..

Will continue…

[Maybe]

As I keep telling myself don’t feel guilty you top shouldn’t feel guilty. Stick to your guns, I need to get to that place fast and move myself out of this situation especially for my kids. We’ll teens they see it all, it’s their father and its soul destroying.

 

I wish you luck and hope that you find your peace soon. X

[sweet4]

Hiya me to, i have been separated from my , husband, for coming up for the (timeframe removed by Moderator) year,living together in the same house is awful, walking on egg shells, i have the sitting room, during the day, then i go to my bedroom, i did take him back, (timeframe removed by Moderator), but he threaten me, so that was that for me, there seems to be alot of marriages, having,  no choice but to live together.

[bluebird28]

Just can’t live like this it is walking on eggshells, i just want out, it helps voicing it on here, i just can’t wait until i feel like he isn’t near me, i need to mentally heal and not have him in my ear

[Author]

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