Still questioning myself

[Lunamoon]

I still doubt myself, I still feel like my brain doesn’t work right and that it was me being over the top.
I wish I had more confidence. He’s the master of making people feel sorry for him. I had to tell the truth to protect me and the children. Now I have an onslaught of false allegations against me. Is this what happens? It’s hard to keep on going sometimes.

Xx

[Oliverainbow]

Hi Lunamoon. I am currently experiencing what your going through and I’m sorry to hear. We have to keep strong. I sometimes think that I’m making things out to be worse than what they were, but I have to keep reminding myself that what happened did happen. Nothing I am saying is a lie. I’m also accepting that I have no idea what slander my ex partner is using against me, but I cant control what other people say or think about me as they were not the ones in the situation and he is very good at charming people and keeping his mask intact.

I’ve been reading some books pertaining to my situation which does help me to know what I am feeling is real and also I found it helped to keep a mood journal on an app and write down incidents. I’ve been referred to therapy which is specific to DV so I’m hoping that would help. Would those services be available to you?

Stay strong and keep pushing through. You will get your confidence back x

[fizzylem]

Same; unbelievable and wild allegations; and using the legal system to try and validate his BS to others – worked the first time, not this time, but I’ve had a long battle as they take his allegations seriously, as they do everyone’s. Utterly dreadful to deal with, which is why it’s important to never deal with it unless you have to and try to get one step a head.

Get third party comms and changeovers in place if you can and haven’t already. It only got worse for us when he left and when he met someone new, he had to protect his public image and has stopped at nothing to do this. They are always the victim and simply do not have the make up to take on any personal responsibilty, it’s always someone elses fault which sadly also becomes their children. It’s like trying to reason with a 3 year old – be mindful of his PR and comply with this ‘adequately’ only.

Never buy into his BS narrative LM – ‘step away from the crazy’ – if you react to his delusions in any way this only validates him and makes his BS seem real – always stay standing in your truth x

[lover of no contact]

The false allegations are so painful and frustrating. They are so used to lying all their life that others believe them. For us truth seekers it’s so hard. I agree with the others. Don’t feed the crazy. Don’t dance their dance. Starve what comes out of their poisonous mouth with your attention. Their power will fade with time and a strict No Contact with them. And we can’t control the other people who are duped by them.

Keep posting. As it’s so painful dealing with this as well as all the other heaps of abuse from being involved with them E.g. financial, sexual, emotional, physical, mental. Nothing good comes out of their mouth and nothing good comes from us being in contact with them. All we can do is get as much support as we can.

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