Still struggling..

[Tweetz]

It’s been a long time since i fled the country to ran away from an abusive relationship I still feel like it was yesterday… although I don’t look over my shoulder in the uk every time i visit my family back home i’m still scared and anxious..
I’ve been trough straight HELL broken nose multiple times, broken ribs, knife scars my hair is still struggling and a lot of mental abuse i was only (detail removed by moderator) and i weighted only (detail removed by moderator) I could barely walk couldn’t sleep i was always in pain and the mental abuse way unimaginable i would wake up being punched in the face I would wake up to blood on the walls cus (detail removed by moderator)  i had to learn to go out only with him and watch him
For 5 sec watch the ground for 5 sec and have just a quick look around not to annoy him.. i could never talk he would abuse me in front of his friends and if they say anything they get a punch as well he threatened my family he forced me to have a tatoo with (detail removed by moderator) because “he owns me” I called the police just to get beaten more, He even said he doesn’t want to kill me just to paralyse me not to be able to move and talk just to see and feel.. people on the street called the police and always the same outcome “you can’t get a restraining order unless he is charged with attacking you at least 3 times” I tried to run i tried to hide i was contemplating to kill him or kill myself nothing worked until my mom offered me the opportunity to leave the country now I’m soo in pieces although I’m engaged and (detail removed by moderator) past since i last saw him it still hunts me to this day I try to only go to work and home never out i get anxious when people come over I still have nightmares and worst of all none would do a coverup of the tatoo as it was a constant reminder of what happened for me… finaly during this virus I found someone that covered it although I’m still scared i can never talk about this and I’ve been suspended from my work due to the tatoo and I feel horrible talking about it with people at work to prove it was a “necessity” so I thought I should hear other people’s reaction to my story and maybe get any help?! Should i go back to counselling? I can appear strong and bottle up everything that happened but I don’t think my brain can cope really he had enough with my childhood this might just be too much…

[Madmam]

Why has no one replied to this?

My heart goes out to you, I don’t have any answers just please keep knowing that you are worth it. Do you have any children?

Counselling can’t hurt… try it. seek help, you’re in the UK which in my experience is one of the better places for abused women.

Hope you’re ok x

[catlover34]

This hit me, oh my good. Im young but I recently just got out of an a abusive relationship that I was in for about a year. He has (removed by moderator), suffers from depression and anxiety but doesn’t know how to handle it because he doesn’t have the right support system. He’s fractured my nose, shin, ribcage, given me numerous concussions and even fractured (removed by moderator)after flinging me down so hard. It has affected my physical health dramatically too. My health was already deteriorating before I met him because I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety and was not getting proper counselling. I have breathing problems after being punched in the chest and having a a fractured nose, I’ve had problems with my walking and balance because of my shin. I have headaches and ear problems too its all very crazy. I even had a miscarriage and lost my baby because of the stress and continuous smoking I was doing. I lived with him and was isolated because of the emotional manipulation that I was suffering but now I am back home. However, I am suffering from a severe case of PTSD, being scared to leave my house and worried hes going to hurt me or someone i love. I’ve been having graphic nightmares, not sleeping or eating properly and its been messing with my physical health even more. I have researched and spoken to a lot of people so i hope the advice I’m about to give helps.

1/ Counselling helps more than anyone realises. Go to NHS 111 online and they will help. because of the current pandemic, mental health patients suffering from, anxiety, depression, ptsd or anything are scheduled in to have calls with nurses and you are called within the next hour or two.

2/ Forgive yourself for not protecting yourself. You probably feel like you did everything you could to make things better but all it did is make things worse. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are strong, and you are powerful. Believe in your strength. PRAY!! There is nothing greater than the love of God.

3/ Seek different way to help your mind set. These are some things I have been doing: Meditation, breathing exercises, working out, constant checking with family and friends, making sure that I understand that there are people around me who love me and support me no matter what. YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE.

If you ever need to talk feel free to message me, I know how are dealing with this is x

[Tweetz]

Thank you all for the nice messages ❤️ I’m amazed that anyone answered 🙈 I will try the GP as a starting point although i felt horrible for the past week this pandemic is hitting hard 🥺
Also it’s amazing and sad to hear so many similar stories 😔 also just to answer 2 questions: no I didn’t had a baby and I’m happy i was that lucky because I would’ve never gone away if i had one.. probably I would be dead now 🙇‍♀️ I know it sounds like I’m a (detail removed by Moderator) person saying that but that what I honestly believe 😔

[Bubble bubble]

Hi, I’m (detail removed by moderator) down the line since I got out of the abusive relationship with my ex husband/childrens father but it still feel like yesturday. I am still living in the same house where all this happened and it’s a living hellconstant reminder of what went on here, flash backs I get are unreal. I hate being at home it terterrifies me that I have to live here day in day out. I have tried redecorating and put my mark on it but nothing seems to help at all. My eldest out of my children is having councilling and was sususidal due to the trauma she too tells me that all she can see is what her dad did when she home. I hate feeling like this all the time its living the nightmare everyday over and over.

 

[Tattybear]

Hi there I’m years down the line and my ex has just decided to get back in contact after many years now wants contact it’s haunting I did counseling found parts of it helped my doc has told me now they believe I have PTSD and need different therapy maybe have a chat with the GP for support and just remember you are a very strong person you have come this far take care xx

[Author]

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