Strangely calm

[Chocolatebunnie]

Past times I’ve contacted local WA and been petrified.

This time I’m strangely calm.

Not worked out why but presumably it’s that I’ve finally excepted the abuse for what it is.

I’m not ready to leave, but I know in the future it’s likely to happen. But for now I just need to talk.

I’ve found that hard to except that I don’t have to do anything, if ever, not right now. But think this is why I’m feeling calm is that I know I’m in control despite everything I’ve been through or could be faced with.

Anyone else reach this point and relate.

[Lisa]

Hi Chocolatebunnie,

It sounds like you’re in a place where you’re feeling very open to support and that’s a real positive. It also sounds like you’re tuned in to what you need right now and ready to ask for that. I’m glad that you’re feeling in control of the process, abuse robs so much control and starting to feel re-empowered can be huge.

Take care and take posting,
Lisa

[Better-days]

Hi CB your head definitely seems to be in a much better place u couldn’t accept the A word but it seems like now u have a little and you’re not feeling guilty for it. Well done massive step for you and u should be proud we all have to take this at our own pace but your post touched me keep getting stronger big hugs. Xx

[nbumblebee]

CB This post has made my day. I am so proud and pleased for you there is no right way to cope with what you do nor is there a wrong way we do shat we can when we can to stay upright. You are doing an amazing job at that.
Im so glad you are reaching for help and that your head is clearer hold on to that keep reading this post over and over it will give you strength when you need it. Keeping taking those baby steps foward sweetie.
Sending much love x*x

[Chocolatebunnie]

I feel like someone switched off the guilt and anxiety, at least for now. I had been too nervous to reach out.

I’m doubting myself a little. Especially when I was asked questions I couldn’t answer went blank. For example was asked if he’s controlling and he is. But I could say how, just went blank. That’s when I get anxious about it and doubt myself.

I reread some of the freedom program and I relate to some. However, the healthy relationship examples I identified more with. Not that it is healthy but quite the opposite. He is my friend, he’s tucked that box but it’s not constant and have to remind myself that it’s breadcrumbs just to keep me here.

I’ve been allocated support either who I had last time. Not sure if that’s good or bad as I felt we had gone as far as we could last time. But grateful all the same

CB X

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