Struggling again after a good spell

[Footballfan1]

I thought I had finally put myself and my children first and stopped worrying about ex’s needs.
He’s started up the communication again, I wish I could ignore him but the trauma bond has been pulling me back into replying back.
My heads all over the place again, I feel sorry for him all over again.
I know he chose to abuse me and the kids, why can’t I stop feeling for him?
It’s so hard.
I’ve been crying again and my disaccociation has come back so badly, I’ve been shaking and heaving and I’m struggling to eat.
What is wrong with me?
Xx

[Lisa]

Hi Footballfan1,

I’m sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. There isn’t anything wrong with you. even if we know someone is abusive its hard to switch off your feelings, nobody can judge you for that.

He will be aware of this and will play on your feelings and try and make you feel guilty. No contact is really hard to maintain as you still feel that urge to respond to them. Be kind to yourself- when you feel tempted try and distract yourself- whether thats posting here for support or looking after your self care- going for a walk- whatever works for you.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at https://bloom.chayn.co/. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Author]

Posts