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I feel like I’ve let myself down so badly. I went the longest time yet no contact after him wearing me down so badly, his jealousy and insecurity got so bad that I was accused of looking dodgy around a stranger so I must’ve slept with him. I couldn’t take it any longer no matter how much I reassured him I loved him. I’ve broke the no contact and have been sleeping with him again and now I’m back to feeling miserable and depressed 😔 I feel like I’ll never stop loving him or be able to look at another man. How can I cut the trauma bond for good? I just don’t feel strong enough, I can’t cope with the idea of other women being with him, it hurts so much that I end up craving him so badly again and going back and then it’s back to the same old cycle. I just don’t know what to do anymore
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If it’s any help, there’s a lot of people who are firmly convinced that these kinds of personalities can’t really change. Many of these people are experts in the field of domestic abuse, clinical psychologists, or experienced practitioners who have worked closely with abusers over decades.
If you talk to some women who run you’re local dv units they will tell you that the same names come up time after time after time. Women who have suffered abuse will sometimes realise afterwards that the perpetrators did the same to all their previous partners.
I suppose what I’m trying to say in a long winded way is that he won’t change.
He will treat his future partners the same way. They may hide it, in the same way that you probably have, but if you’re unhappy, they will be too.
He won’t change and become the nice guy with the next person.
Maybe some of the other ladies on the forum will come on to confirm this.Trust us on this! he won’t change for the next person.
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