Stuck with knowing what to do

[Ariel]

I’m worried about my youngest son. I had him over to sleep for the night and took him to my sister’s house which is 3 roads down to watch the fireworks. He messaged asking where am I as my son didn’t answer his phone. I told him then he said you won’t have him to sleep xnymore.
He literally wants me to sit in the house and be at his beg and call if he rings etc. How am I ever going to stop this. I can only have my son over on his say so. Otherwise I have to come to the house to see him and sit there with him while my son is on his computer in his room. This is making me mentally ill now. If I don’t answer he comes over….how am I ever going to get out of this.
My son keeps worrying about him stabbing me as he heard him tell his friend on the phone that if I try to move back in “house is in my name” he will have to knife me.

[Raincloud]

Hi Ariel,

Have you looked into having a formal child arrangement order put in place? There is lots of great information about this here: https://www.co-oplegalservices.co.uk/media-centre/articles-may-aug-2016/what-is-a-child-arrangement-order/

Is your son safe to be staying with him? If he is making those types of threats towards you.

Sending you a big hug. x

[Ariel]

I haven’t been worried about his physical safety before but now I’m worried what he’s doing to him mentally.

[Raincloud]

Understandably, as mentioned below he is using intimidation to control you. When you spend time with your son you do not have to justify where you take him. A formal arrangement will remove the control your ex partner is trying to have with the contact between you and your sons.

I am unsure of how old your son is, I contacted a HV when my daughter would come home after contact with her Dad saying really bizarre things she had been asked or overheard. The HV was brilliant and came to visit us.

I hope this helps in some way. x

[Anonymous]

Hi Ariel,this is threatening behaviour and coersive control, intimidation basically. This behaviour is illegal now. The above advice is the best way to go. Get a formal contact arrangement if need be if you think your son is being affected go for supervised. Hugs xx

[Author]

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