Support Groups

[JessicaJones]

Hey everyone,

I’ve been offered basically no support following what’s happened to me, it’s been appalling how I’ve been treated… but that’s for another’s post.
I wanted to know if there are any support groups that are run by women’s aid or anyone else.
It may be a terrible idea, I may be overwhelmed with emotions and feelings I can’t control or not be able to contribute. But it also may not be. I feel like it would potentially be a good thing.
How I’m feeling right now I feel like I’m ready to deal with this and process it in whatever way I can.
I’ve looked for ones in my area and can’t find anything. Is there anywhere else I can look?
Or any specific organisation I can use to search for them? Or anything I can join?
Thanks 🙂

[JessicaJones]

When I say I’ve been offered no support I’m talking about the nhs, not women’s aid or any other charity…
They have given me nothing. Not even mentioned women’s aid. It’s taken 6 months for me to be even put on a waiting list for any kind of therapy. Then the wait for the therapy is probably going to be anywhere between 6-18 months…
So I need to seek something elsewhere.

[JessicaJones]

Ah.
I just found the search tool on this site and found the number to call for my local women’s aid 🙂
Shall be calling them tomorrow.
So this post is kinda unnecessary now lol

I haven’t extensively researched into getting this kind of help as I’ve been too scared to call these kind of helplines until now.
I still am to be honest. I’m going to find it very scary to dial the number and speak to someone.
Every time I even think about it I end up severely distressed… I’m terrified.
But I think I’m ready to do it now.

[KIP.]

Just take baby steps. I rang a few times and said nothing. They were really good. Just told me it was ok to not speak. That she was there when I was ready. Go at your own pace. The NHS too badly let me down with counselling and I borrowed money from family and paid privately. You need specialist care from trained counsellors with knowledge of trauma and PTSD.

[JessicaJones]

I still didn’t ring yet. I chickened out. I feel more eager and able to speak to them now though so am gunna ring them as soon as I can.
I am having therapy soon but the wait is most likely going to be long.
Sigh. So I don’t know what to do really for the therapy side of things. I have no way of getting any anywhere else. Perhaps it’s something I can be advised on when I call.
But yeah, I do think I need someone who is experienced in trauma. I’ve seen so many people who clearly don’t have a clue about it. And clearly don’t have any idea about abusive relationship trauma. No one seems to understand. It’s shockingly bad really.
I think that both the police and nhs staff should have additional training on abusive relationships. Because I have been utterly shocked and caused further psychological harm by their sheer ignorance.

[supersonic]

I’ve found this too, no one seems to know how to help after we leave, I found a few videos on youtube though, (detail removed by moderator), hopefully you can get a good therapist though. Mines has turned out not good because she keeps talking about her own life and I feel I have to be polite and listen when really it is annoying me hearing about her partner and kids.

[JessicaJones]

That’s terrible! I had a counsellor like that once years ago who used to share things about her own life… not helpful at all.
I did end up ringing. No support groups but a freedom project which if I’m entirely honest… I didn’t like the sound of. I would go just to meet other people who’ve been through the same but I don’t like how it focuses on the abuser.

I can understand education on what types of abusive men look like is good but I find it a little patronising.
I knew that before my abusive relationship. People who get in abusive relationships aren’t stupid. Mine certainly didn’t seem like a ‘dominator’ when I first got with him.
It was very complex. I was in a VERY bad way when I got with him due to my own mental health problems.

Hopefully I am having psychotherapy soon but I won’t hold out much hope at this point for its effectiveness. I’ve been let down too many times.

I will check out YouTube and see what I can find. Thanks x

[KIP.]

You can look at the freedom project more online. I think it’s a great start. It teaches you all about red flags and what to look out for. But it also gets you thinking about your own circumstances and why we ended up with our abuser. Don’t close down on the idea. I would suggest you go and try it. I started my own support group. That’s something else you could consider.

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