Survivor……(detail removed by moderator)years on

[SparkleandSmile]

Hi all,

I just feel compelled to share my story after recently realising a colleague at work needed help.

I’m a (detail removed by moderator) old mum to two gorgeous children. Aged (detail removed by moderator) I started a relationship with my boss. He was divorcing at the time and a very highly respected man. Both by colleagues, friends and family.

We were together for (detail removed by moderator)  years. The last (detail removed by moderator) of which I suddenly realised things were changing. Heavy drinking. Shouting, screaming.Breaking things. Violence. After a few years of helping him with alcohol abuse, suicidal attempts *I now know were *staged* and several sections in mental health hospitals….i was in a relationship with a (detail removed by moderator). Who wanted me dead
Dead. Police and his psychiatrist told me hed kill me. But i loved him and he was “ill”

Thanks to MARAC and the police I finally admitted my life and we fled.£(detail removed by moderaor) and a suitcase. Was a the kids and I had.

This was the (detail removed by moderator) time I’d gone into regufe. Each time before I went back. Guilt trip after he cleaned up his act and became again the man I fell in love with.

But that time (dtail removed by moderator) years ago I looked at it on a grander scale. I had given up my career as he had a successful business and didn’t need to work.We had moved (detail removed by moderator)times because we always wanted a “better house or location” ….hed isolated me. I no longer had control ..he did.even when sectioned his millionaire mum financed me and the kids.

(detail removed by moderator) years on and I’m free. (He did pass away last year) but we sought refuge and I got amazing help. As did the kids. I have a fab job again….and an amazing man. Genuine, kind and very understanding. My daughter’s now at secondary and working at A* level
My son is  absolutely soaring.

I had to leave my house, all our belongings and memories. Friends , places i adored living in.

But we got here. I’ve been promoted again and can’t wait for Christmas.

Every day I feel proud. I endured that perpetrator. But I did it. I walked away and survived and keep surviving. I have nightmares. I smell scents that take me back. Hear songs that take me back.

But I put up with abuse. I left. Lived in fear for years. But managed it. I try not to cry over possessions I’ve lost.

But I’m happy, safe and proud.

I am a Survivor!

[KIP.]

Hi there. Thanks for sharing a positive story. It’s sometimes hard to let go of possessions because our abusers used that as a way to keep us hooked in. It took me a while to get over that. Did you ever receive councelling? For a while aftershaves and mobile phone ringtones or even vibrations triggered me but I found a great clinical psychologist who helped tremendously.

[Lisa]

Hello SparkleandSmile,

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for sharing with us. I am sure your story will help others reading to see there is life after abuse.

Congratulations on your promotion and I hope you have a great Christmas with your family!

Best wishes,

Lisa

[cupofcoffee]

Well done! The peace and calmness after the storm and drama of living with an abuser is great!

[Confused123]

Hi HUn

Thxs for sharing your post, was really inspiring , one day will post my story too , so nice to hear when ladies say how they have progressed even after leaving so much behind

[Author]

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