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It might seem pathetic to what others go through but he constantly swears at me F’in this and F’in that because mostly that I don’t don’t to anything for him, show him no respect, gratitude, appreciation or thanks.
It’s the small things too, like not letting me put the bedroom light on to read or if I need to find something. That I’m told I’m an emotional wreck and need to get help, told I’m all over the place. It’s not like he hits me although he does push me sometimes. It’s the shouting and swearing, and the demands for sex. Am I being over sensitive?
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Hi Hun
Its not patethic and its not right , abuse comes in so many different forms and each one is just as bad in its own way cause of the imapct it has on us. REading your post it clearly shows hhe wants control and thinks he can verbally abuse u, agian tatics to break us down, i dont knwo who these men think they are, if we are so bad why dont they walk away and find some one else, call the helpline on this site n*d see if you can get some support
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So many men will be abusive, then tell you that you are over reacting, that they were only joking, or didn’t mean it, etc… when it was… abuse
and so many women doubt themselves, and get taken back into the abusive relationship, and it goes on and on like that
Don’t buy into this school of thought and let him minimise what he’s doing. this is not your problem, it’s his, and you are not pathetic, he is
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So many of our new-poster threads (mine would have been included had I found this site before everything escalated!) start out as “It’s not that bad” or “He only does x..” but in talking it through with others on here, the list of abuses actually grows! I started journaling no long after the split and while I felt initially like it was just a whiney list of complaints, once the floodgates opened and I allowed myself to truly look at our relationship the inequality in our relationship became all too clear. The list is still growing and it has become equally clear just how long and slow-burning the abuse had been going on for.
I was not aware that I was in abusive relationship until the sexual abuse began – and even at the beginning of that I told myself it would just blow over. Whenever I wonder to myself if maybe I was ‘too sensitive’ or on some way partly to blame for our poor relationship – I look at the sexual abuse as evidence that in order for it to have gone on as long as it did, he had to have had me in a position of submission, feeling lesser and trapped.
It’s not like he hit me, never, not once – but he bruised my self esteem, slashed my confidence and broke my trust.
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