- This topic has 18 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 1 month ago by
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Yes it is, it is abusive language, and if you don’t like it then you should not have to be subjected to it at all.
I hate it when people swear at me, and I especially hate swearing in the presence of, or at, children. Hearing children repeat that language is so sad. I’ve heard 4 and 5 year olds calling other people a “stupid c**t”, it tells you a lot about the life they lead at home when you hear that sort of language coming from them.
It is also a form of child abuse, so if your children are regularly being sworn at in a derogatory way that undermines their confidence, belittles them and humiliates them you are justified in keeping this man away from them. Children can be disciplined in many other ways that is a much healthier and accepted way to teach them right from wrong. This sort of abuse and ‘discipline’ is going to do so much damage to their confidence and self esteem.
So weepingwillow, your question was not a stupid one at all, you are not a ‘poor excuse for a mother’ and you are not oversensitive.
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Thanks for your replies . I’ve only just started opening up about things and it’s helpful to see it from others point of view after years or just listening to his point of view
I always tell him to stop and he just says I’m undermining his authority 😞
I said my parents never swore at me and he said my dad swore all the time and I said swearing with a group of mates is different to swearing at someone . Don’t get me wrong , I have slipped up with the odd swear word in earshot of the kids and always apologise to them and to be honest my
Teen usually laughs
I will probably be asking a lot of questions now I’ve started
Thanks again xx -
And the branch didn’t fall far from that tree in regards to his father, right? It’s abusive, meant to intimidate. All it does is makes someone fearful and makes the person doing it look like they have the I.Q. of a peanut. Just makes a person look like they have a very small vocabulary and have to reach for a swear word to fill in all the blank spots. Kinda like people talking in cliches all the time. I’m thinking seriously, can you think of something meaningful and authentic to say or better yet, can’t you just zip it? You’re with a great group of ladies here who have been through the wormhole a few times so there is nothing you can’t ask. No judgment. None at all. We’re all about education and empowering women to claim their independence. We have a ways to go on that one. We have come far but we are still in the throws of a very patriarchal society that likes to beat beat women into submission. I lost my knee pads a long time ago. Replaced them with boxing gloves.
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Oh weepingwillow, I’m shocked! You have let out the odd swear word. That is terrible! LOL
I try VERY hard not to swear, but a few years ago I dropped a pasta bake when getting it out of the oven and it went all over the floor. I was tired, so I got angry with myself and let out a whole load of profanities in the kitchen. My son obviously heard and came running downstairs, and without a word got some kitchen towel and started wiping it up. I couldn’t believe it. Then he told me he knew something bad had happened because he’d never heard me swear like that before so he thought I needed some help! I apologised too, but he said he thought it was ‘cool’ that he’d actually heard me use the ‘F’ word.
We’re only human 🙂
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Oh don’t get me wrong here, I can swear like a sailor! And sometimes I do. I own it. Just try not to do it all that much but sometimes it’s just the only words that work and yes, I am in rehab for that one…. But what I don’t do is use alot of swearing when trying to make a point or for lack of better words that I could use in order to get my point across. No halo over my head. But when it’s used to just be abusive, horse of a different color. I do not swear around kids if I can help it but stub my toe and it might fly out.
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Swearing at the kids is child abuse. When they start repeating it at school or to other kids and parents it won’t go down well. The kids will normalise it. It must be terrifying for them. Abuse also stunts their growth. It’s a shame as they deserve the best start in life. Talk to your local women’s aid x
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Braelynn, I’m in rehab for that one…me too!!
Weepingwillow this is not a stupid question.
This is not discipline.
You’re not a poor excuse for a mother, you’re a loving and caring mother for being bothered about this
You are not oversensitive, he’s a …. misguided man…(well done me! sorry I find the subject of Them gets my profanities going but I am trying to hold back, I really am)Not sure of the inspiration for your username by the way but I really like it.
Soulsearcher18
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Weepingwillow, this really resonated with me. My OH says if he swears at the kids it’s because ‘they need to learn’. At me it’s because I’ve made him angry and isn’t it better than him properly losing his temper and hitting someone! Now that I write that down I realise what an awful thing it is to say. Like we should be grateful he’s ONLY swearing at us. This week my eldest son told his dad not to swear (he was getting frustrated while playing a video game online). It comes to something when the children are calling out their parent for their language. Trouble is I can’t see how he will ever change and he doesn’t seem to recognise that his behaviour is unreasonable. And I wonder how I have ended up in this situation. It must have happened so gradually I didn’t notice because I’m sure I wouldn’t have put up with this from day 1!
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Yes FlOw3r it’s hard to understand how we got here 😞. Just last night he ranted at my eldest again , he was 10 mins late in . Husband swearing and ranting , son talking rationally . Again i spoke to him about swearing and he just said ‘what do you want me to do hit them ‘ .
Sorry you are in the same situation x -
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These men are such moronic idiots. Cave men. I have more respect for monkeys than I do them. Swearing at the children, hitting them? Oh Wow, now there’s a fine father!!! Maybe if they hadn’t been such poor fathers all along the kids would behave better. Maybe if their example of how to be a human being wasn’t so horrible, they wouldn’t act up. Bleechh!
It doesn’t matter how we got there ladies. You just have to get out of it. When our house is on fire it doesn’t serve us well to start a knitting project or have a cuppa. When kids are being treated this way – your house is on fire.
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Words are like hitting them though, right?
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