Tech Abuse/control

[Lego]

Hi I’m new here, (detail removed by moderator) i discovered (purely by accident) that my home WiFi was being hacked, as I investigated further I started to realise (detail removed by moderator) had different apps installed I had never noticed before then my mobile started playing up and progressively became almost unusable. I questioned my now ex who was the only person that had any access and suddenly my life became a living nightmare, being controlled by
Him via technology which extended to my GPS system in my car. He became violent and abusive instantly I was cut off from everyone I had no control at all. Wen I finally was able to contact authorities no one believed me (detail removed by moderator)
I could not find eve.n get any support from anywhere I tried dogferemt agencies etc then I became very frighted of being accused of losing my mind I do mot know how I did not break. I was treat like muck
From the police they gad no understanding or training in this area they even initially took my exs word.
Has anyone here experienced tech abuse.e?

[Lisa]

Hi Lego,

Welcome to the forum. I hope you find it a supportive place to be. What you described sounds really frightening and you have been carrying a lot for a long time.

Domestic abuse is about power and control and perpetrators will use any method that is avaliable to them. I’m sorry to hear about your negative experience with services too.

You can access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Mellow]

I can relate not being believed after holding back so long is devestating .my ex didn’t do the same but he did move my mobile phone around and watch me look for it I know this because when I left it stopped happening I didn’t loose my phone as much .he always also looked at my bank statements which I felt invaded my privacy.he did stop me seeing family by using reverse physchology he always said I was busy talking about him slagging him to family for some reason unknown so I stopped seeing mother and father .he wasn’t there when parent died acted like he didn’t even want me to see him

[Twix]

Hey Lego, I can relate to everything in your post having experienced this too throughout a long marriage.

You do feel like you’re going crazy trying to piece it together & the fact nobody believes you isn’t at all helpful in offering you the help you need to break free.

If it helps here are some of the things he’d do:

– Monitor bank transactions & question purchases/timings/location
– insist upon texts upon arrival/leaving places
– read emails (work & personal)
– check payments via online banking vs when I’d text to say I’d be coming home
– put recording devices in my car
– borrow friends cars to follow me or use his own
– set up recording devices in the home
– limit or remove access to Wi-Fi
– take my phone
– access online accounts
– access car GPS & take photos of mileage/journeys

The list goes on…

I was lucky that the police involved in my scenario were incredibly helpful, but I hear too often about others experiences having been distressing on top of an already traumatic situation for you. Just getting to the point where you felt you could contact them for help is a huge step in itself, only to be let down is really difficult to understand.

Definitely recommend the Bloom course & if your local DV org has one to offer, do that too.

Always here for a chat xx

[Author]

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