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It’s been some time since I’ve posted on here. I left my husband coming up for a year ago now and it’s a long journey. It feels like a few months but I know I’ve come so far and nearly divorced. He still lives in our house but it’s on the market. I have a single room, which has been really hard because I’m a real home bird and living out of bags is a real pain. Got back in house tonight as he is away and a valentine’s card in bathroom with the usual words ! I feel nothing. Strange being here as it’s as if I haven’t left. Still thinking what the hell have I done??? Still got that feeling of making it all right again but that’s a joke after how far I have come and now at the final hurdle. Need to move away and start again which is very scary. Sort of doubting my decision and thinking.. am I crazy? I know I will be ok tomorrow and this feeling will pass. Just wanted to say ..it’s a constant fight to not return and keep going in a different direction but know it will be worth it. Still at peace ✌️
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Yes, it’s absolutely mind bending when you realize that a whole life has been wrecked by these people. A home, friendships and a social life, projects and plans, maybe children growing up, pets being born and dying, years and years of striving and working, so much.
It seems that it would be so simple to have it all again, if only they could just be the Dr Jeckyll and not the Mr Hyde.
It feels like it could be such a small step to rescue all this from the wreckage.Its so painful. I just have to refuse to think about it, you know. I just can’t find any other way to live with the awfulness of it, except to refuse to think about it.
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