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I’ve just come across a video that was released by Women’s Aid in July 2016 about the long term effects of domestic violence.
1 in 5 women accessing domestic abuse services have been experiencing abuse for over 10 years.
Please take a look if you are able/safe to do so. Although some viewers may find it triggering/distressing.
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I would tell my daughter the truth and ask her help to escape. I don’t think I could stay silent for that long. As soon as my husband was aggressive towards me I got out. I couldn’t afford to stay and let that fear of him become a reality. I’m so glad I did that on the other side of the country away from anyone who loved me that was his next plan for me after I had ‘agreed to leave my family for him’. They don’t even behave like animals because animals are more considerate, more loving and have more morals than these creatures! Xxxx
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Mine was the exact same but he was aggressive to members of my family and I foolishly thought he was being protective about anyone hurting me far from it. He smashed something in front of me once. The way he sat there with his daughter and grandkids like butter wouldn’t melt made me sick! I bet she doesn’t leave because she doesn’t feel like she would be believed and she’s also probably scared of what he will do if he catches her trying to leave. Also, it isn’t easy starting a whole life on your own from scratch it isn’t as easy as some people think it is. I just wish she had the strength to tell her daughter or not to cover it up with makeup just the once! She does not deserve that no one does xxxx
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I thought it was such an accurate depiction of what it’s like to feel trapped in a long term abusive relationship.
An article written by Harriet Hall on website stylist.co.uk says the following:-
“Via a harrowing but powerful short film, the campaign hopes to change our perception of older women, and makes the shocking point that one in five women accessing domestic abuse services have been experiencing abuse for over a decade.
The short two-minute film, entitled Do You See Her, was produced by Ridley Scott Associates for Women’s Aid, and stars Anne-Marie Duff (Suffragette), Phil Davis (Whitechapel) and Tessa Peake-Jones (Only Fools and Horses), with a voiceover by Louiza Patikas (The Archers). The film wwas directed by Paul Andrew Williams (Murdered By My Boyfriend).
Harrowing video reveals the true impact of
We often assume that older married couples are living quiet, comfortable lives behind closed doors but this image of marital bliss can, far too often, be nothing more than a facade.National domestic abuse charity, Women’s Aid, has launched a powerful campaign to bring attention to this discrepancy of thought.
The charity has found that older women are less likely to seek help for domestic abuse, than younger ones – despite it happening to women of all ages.
Via a harrowing but powerful short film, the campaign hopes to change our perception of older women, and makes the shocking point that one in five women accessing domestic abuse services have been experiencing abuse for over a decade.
The short two-minute film, entitled Do You See Her, was produced by Ridley Scott Associates for Women’s Aid, and stars Anne-Marie Duff (Suffragette), Phil Davis (Whitechapel) and Tessa Peake-Jones (Only Fools and Horses), with a voiceover by Louiza Patikas (The Archers). The film wwas directed by Paul Andrew Williams (Murdered By My Boyfriend).
It shows an older married couple enjoying a lunch with their daughter and grandchildren, who have visited for the day. In a classic, middle-class setting, the family discuss the mundane over a home-cooked meal.
During the meal, the daughter asks: “you alright, mum?” to which the mother replies “I’m fine,” with a smile.
We then see the story unfold again – this time revealing what is really going on behind the perfect couple veneer. Prior to the daughter and her children arriving, we see the father abusing his wife, shouting and hitting her before putting her to bed and kissing her. The woman then covers up her bruise with make-up, before putting on a brave face for the arrival of her daughter – an abusive pattern which has clearly gone on for years.
When she waves goodbye to her daughter at the close of the film, viewers are presented with the disturbing realisation that she feels trapped and imprisoned in her own home.
“The film is a stark reminder that even those closest to a woman who is being abused may not know what goes on behind closed doors,” says Polly Neate, Chief Executive of Women’s Aid.
“Victim stereotypes are simply not relevant to our understanding of domestic abuse. We want to send a clear message to all older women experiencing abuse: Women’s Aid is here for you,” she continues.
Tessa-Peake Jones says: “Older women are often invisible in many spheres of life, and it can be all too easy to not see what is really going on. I want to give these women a voice: to show them that they are not alone, that they deserve help if they are experiencing domestic abuse.”
Director, Paul Andrew Williams says: “Whilst funding is being cut and important organisations are being forced to restrict the help they can offer vulnerable women, now is the time to raise awareness and show that there are people out there, like Women’s Aid who can help.
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I saw that short film. It is very good, but it was a powerful trigger for me.
There is no help for elder women. They are ignored. That’s why they stay in abusive relationships.
If a woman is not young and pretty nobody has any interest in helping her.
With the increase of fascism in the political landscape this phenomenon will become worse again. -
That was very powerful and effective. The bit that I really empathised with was when her daughter had driven off and she stood there outside the house clearly dreading going back in, but then resigned and defeated, knowing she has no choice, she goes in.
I did that so many times, going back in to face the tirade of all the stupid things I’d said and done whilst the visitors had been there. I think older women feel even more societal pressure to put up with abuse, put on a brave face etc. It so sad that so many women report feeling invisible after a certain age. -
My ex threatened me! If he ever did hit me i would not be responsible for my own actions
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You are all completely right just because she’s older it doesn’t mean she is less worthy of a happy, healthy life. Society unfortunately has a lot to answer for this poor woman my heart goes out to her and all the women in her position. The future is not as clear cut for them because they have grown children, grandchildren they probably cannot see any other way or they’re too frightened to take that step. X
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