The forever stress

[backtome]

Me and my family are planning on a big special family holiday. It’ll be a big once in a lifetime thing for me (affordability wise) and it should be something I’m really looking forward to, BUT, as with anything to do with my daughter, I will have the obstacle of Dad put in the way.

According to the .gov web site, I need Dad’s permissions to take her away, which he will never agree to, certainly not writing which will mean having to apply to court and proving why I think the trip will be good for my little girl etc. and he will just take pleasure in putting obstacles in the way because he is jealous. He won’t for a second think about our little girl and what she would get out of it. Even if I were to win, it’s the sheer stress and cost of going to court that is getting to me. I really wish we could just get on with our lives and look forward to things but we never ever can because of him everything will always have this sad and stressful undertone.

No real point to this post, just venting. x

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Backtome,

This sounds very stressful, I would be very annoyed and angry having to go through the court to get an ex’s approval on a holiday. It shows another area of legislation that needs changing.

One thing I’d say though is that you might be catastrophising, and it might not be as bad as you think? I do this all the time, I’m an expert at it! I find 9 times out of 10 the thing I feared isn’t as bad as I thought. And for the 1 time it is bad, worrying didn’t help. Way easier said than done of course but worth thinking about. Could you ring Rights of Women and see if they can suggest a way to circumvent it?

[Freedomfighter]

Hi backtome,
Sorry he’s still controlling your life and making it miserable. As always the system seems stacked in their favour.
Could you phone citizens advice? Maybe they might be able to help with some advice. Good luck. I hope you and your daughter find a way to get your lovely holiday 😊

[backtome]

I do tend to catastrophise things and get very worked about them so hopefully you’re right Sunshinerainflower and it won’t be as bad I’m building it up to be. I just need to fix dates with my family and then tell him straight. Easier said than done lol. He is of the belief that any holidays etc our daughter goes on should be with both me and him! Even though we’re not together at all. He’s so deluded.

Freedomfighter, I always forget about the CAB thanks for the reminder, I’ll have a look on their web site.

Thanks for replying x

[lover of no contact]

I catastrophise too.

Yes fix the dates, tell him. He’ll either agree or not agree. He might want to look good in front of your family and others so he might agree. he won’t agree to suit you or your daughter that’s true but he may agree as it might suit him keeping up a good façade.

Good luck, hope it works out.

[backtome]

That’s a good point lover of no contact, i really hope you’re right. I think it will basically depend on his mood at the time I tell him. x

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