The importance of feeling safe

[Peaceful Pig]

I’m really starting to understand just how necessary it is to feel safe before healing and facing trauma can begin. My new counsellor is so skilled at helping me feel safe enough to undertake this task. She tells me explicitly, over and over, that she can hold anything I need to tell her and always advises me to leave everything there on the floor with her until the next session. It’s so important to know that. The penny has finally dropped that the harder I try the less I will be able to remember, whereas the safer I feel the more my mind will allow me to know. I need to believe I can handle whatever comes up. So my plan is masses of self-care and compassion and maybe even some fun! 😃 Xx

[Serenity]

Feeling safe is so important. When I start to feel unsafe because my ex is coming nearer, or that people are manipulating me, I get the old frozen panic back.

Follow your gut as to who you can trust and set up firm boundaries every day, until it becomes an automatic habit.

You can handle whatever comes up. You are stronger now then you were. X*x

[Peaceful Pig]

Thanks Serenity, you are right about boundaries but I am still rubbish with them. I seem to veer from complete protection, anger and repulsion or no boundaries at all if someone scares me. Sometimes it feels easier to relate to people but at other times I seem to get lost again and have no idea who I am or what I want. Maybe I need to write down explicitly what I will and won’t accept. I like the saying, “you teach people how to treat you by what you stop and what you tolerate”. I need to pin that up somewhere x*x

[survivorda]

I cannot walk into University campus without being on the phone to a family member.
I have not walked in alone in over two years.
Being reminded of home, makes me feel safe.
People question it and tell me to get a grip, but if it makes me feel safe, it’s not harming anyone else!
Even the thought of walking in alone makes me anxious and I know i’d run straight home

[Peaceful Pig]

Hi survivorda, I can well imagine I might be doing that for my daughter in a few years! Please ignore those who have no understanding of your suffering and therefore no compassion. I’m very happy for you that you have such kind family who can be there for you. I’m sure with their support you will heal and go from strength to strength xx

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