The threats

[herewegoagain]

not sure if i just want validation from like minded ladies…I am safely out of a marriage of many decades but still in close communication. Hubby is controlling, emotionally abusive, aggressive sometimes violent but no he does not ‘beat me up’
He is now making all the right noises cos he wants me home…but last night I was talking to him and I got the ” I’m gonna take these pills routine”…,so I put the phone down but what to do now?
Its not the first time hes said this…a friend joked Hey cant he open the child lock on the tablets!!
Stupidly I know I love him..but this is the cruelty I want to leave behind..why cant they see that?

[lover of no contact]

Hi herewegoagain,

The first step in dealing with these ‘sick personality’ guys is gathering a lot of support around you which you’ve done by posting on here and reading other posts. This will arm you with knowledge about their ‘sick behaviours’ and knowledge is power.

The reason you are feeling as you are is because you are in close communication with him. Even though he is your ex of many decades, you are still in an abusive relationship. It doesn’t matter that he is your ex, he is still managing to control your emotions through contact.

Google ‘the No Contact’ rules when dealing with a n********t. (detail removed by moderator)

How would you feel if you went complete No Contact with your ex?

[Serenity]

When he is making threats like this, is he thinking of you? Is he thinking how placing responsibility and punishment on to ou like that is injuring you, damaging you?

It’s us who are abused who are the ones who really feel as down as that. To the hem, it’s just control and punishment for not obeying them and sacrificing our well being for our them.

If he is low, he needs to get professional help.

He can’t cope with his own negative feelings and needs you there to project them onto. But you deserve peace and happiness. We are just a means to an end for them. They don’t care about our feelings or our health.

[Velveteenbun]

My dx tried that when we first split. I was going out one night and he wanted me to go see him. It didn’t achieve quite the effect he wanted because I rang his mum and told her I was worried about him…he has never tried that since.

[herewegoagain]

I keep reading your question “How would you feel if you went complete No Contact with your ex?”..not sure I can, I think he would freak out and do anything to get through to me using the family contacts. His parents dont speak to me at alland blame me despite having seen his attacks in the past.I dont know maybe I am scared to finally let go.

[Ayanna]

If he says it again call the ambulance to his place. Maybe they admit him. That is what he would deserve.

[Author]

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