They found my address

[bluebird28]

How on earth did this happen, I’ve been so careful, I think a government service like councillor someone has given my ex or daughter our new home address we have since leaving refuge weeks ago, my daughter who is an adult lives with her dad,she said someone told her the address,I spoke to the police and said I don’t understand how when I have not given my address out even to my adult children who don’t talk to him,I have got a camera on my door as Im worried and want to keep safe,has anyone else experienced this please

[Cherries]

Are you sure you haven’t been followed? I think services are generally very hot on data protection and how likely is it your daughter is actually being honest. He/she/they wouldn’t be likely to admit following you.

Someone like me for example would be easy to track should he choose to. I leave work same time same place every day, in the same car.

When I left my ex many years ago, I put wedges under doors to make them harder to force. I also had a baseball bat for a long time…not that I’d have dared to use it I think but it made me feel safer.

I get that’s probably not advisable for many reasons (I was advised this time to not try to hide anywhere with potential weapons…I didn’t have this advice last time)

Hope you’re ok your anxiety must be off the scale right now x

[Twisted Sister]

Hi bluebird28

I am sorry that you have run into this after going through refuge to get away and be safe! You said your adult children don’t talk to him, but that someone told your daughter who is living with her dad. Maybe they told her whilst her dad was within earshot? Maybe he has managed to get his daughter to speak to someone he knew would pass the address to her, not knowing he could hear?

…and yes, if your place of work is known, it’s incredibly easy to tag you from work home, or if he knew you were visiting your daughter. However, as someone told your daughter it seems she is the source? she could also be taking the fall for him tracking you, and trying to protect him for fear of getting into trouble herself.

How do you know that he has your address?

If you are in temporary accommodation after refuge, you could move, or if you have a rental now, you could apply to move again based on grounds of your safety?

Yes, in terms of being found after moving, it seems incredibly easy to be found by anyone who bothers enough, especially where children visiting are involved. Some will go to extraordinary lengths to track.

Make sure the police, as they are aware, have placed a flag on your address as being at increased risk.

If you know the neighbours enough to mention it, then do ask them to keep an eye out for him/his car/anyone hanging around and to call police if they hear anything going on with you that might mean he’s turned up.

I feel for you, some of them are very dogged and determined when it comes to letting go! Keep your phone close, and check your camera for unusual activity. You will naturally have your instincts on alert to look out for anything out of the ordinary and that will help protect you too.

Do let us know how you get on. Keep safe.

warmest wishes

ts

[StrongLife]

Yes, I have had similar happen and face this prospect again. I moved within 24 hrs. It was far too dangerous for me to stay. The cost was extraordinary but there was no way I would stay as my life was in peril. I know how he got my address and not sure what will happen in future. I was ok prior to this.

I have since relocated to some other area. I got housing within a number of weeks.

[Author]

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