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I have been now very determined to leave. So much that I have sent some important docs to a friend of mine.
The gears are rolling. I am feeling confident today. Yesterday not so much, but then he threw a tantrum and made me realised that I am done!
Now next step will be calling to get space in a refuge and hopefully leave asap. Wanted to wait for Xmas, but I don’t think I can wait because I know I will lose this momentum.
Hopefully everything will work out ok, at least the scape plan. It fills me with anxiety.
Next thing, I don’t drive, so someone will be taking me and our LO through motorway, how would I solve the car seat situation without having to spend in one, as I am in no means to do that?
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Hi Awayfromhome,
I just wanted to offer some support on your post as it sounds like such a significant time for you at the moment.
Your post shows so much courage and it makes a lot of sense that you want to take some steps forward whilst you are feeling this motivation for change.In terms of the car seat, could you borrow one from a friend or family member? Alternatively you may be able to acquire one from a second hand selling app or website?
Good luck with this next period of time, do keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.
Lisa-
Thank you Lisa. I feel a rush of adrenaline every time I think about it. A mixture of everything, nervousness, sadness, grieve, but at the same time and urge to be free.
Free to not have the anxiety of having the house impecable, free of the constant remarks of trying to control our toddler, free of doing or not doing what I want, of not having schedules, of talking with the people I love without feeling the pressure, of taking my time to cook a meal and not feel the stress of cooking 15 minutes meals.On the moments I feel weak, I keep reminding me that this is a decision out of love: love for me, for my toddler.
The car seat has been sorted, thank God. I feel like if I have this angels around me is because things are meant to be this way. Wishful thinking?
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Thank you. I was actually thinking about that today. Everything has been working so seamlessly so far, as if it was there waiting for me to take it. I feel so blessed in that sense.
I am in a refuge now. I will be with friends that have children for Xmas (all my family is abroad). I have been window shopping at leisure and it’s been so nice!
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I can relate to this, it is so very scary leaving, it is like a leap of faith, like you are jumping off a bridge and hoping the bungee cord will hold.
You can do this, we all have a fire inside us that has been squished, use that fire to get control of your life again, to be FREE.
The hardest but best thing you can do for you and your little girl xx -
Thank you @eyesopening
It is indeed a leap of faith. My mum has been praying so much for me and even when I am alone in this country with my toddler I don’t feel much so.I have had one bad day, but overall I feel good.
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Oh gosh, your not in your home country. That makes things that little more isolating and daunting..
I also was in a foreign country trying to get back to the UK where all my family and friends where.
Just stay safe and really lean on all the support you can get. Its time to go on automatic pilot I felt, I wasn’t in control exactly, my gut was driving me forward and out xx
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I know what your going through with the cleaning and scheduling it’s mentally exhausting also physically. I wanted to leave before Xmas aswell but unfortunately unable to. I’m glad your doing this for you and you LO and getting that new freedom I really hope you find happiness good luck on your journey!
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