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My ex said so many cruel and horrible things to me over do many years that I just don’t know how to get his cruelness out of my head. He told me things like I was too fat or too thin, I wasn’t pretty, nobody else likes me. He’d tell me I was too physically weak to do things because I’m a woman or I wouldn’t understand how to do things. My successes where because of him not because I’d done well
It’s really damaging stuff he’d say and it’s stuck with me. He said it do often it’s ingrained -
Abusers are liars and bullies and their words cut deep because they know how to hurt. His words are simply just another form of abuse. I’d be thinking why does a man who harms women have any credibility. Has anyone else ever said these things to me. Think of a judge and jury looking at the evidence. Where is the evidence that nobody else likes you? That you can’t do things because you’re a woman etc. I refer to my ex as the idiot because that’s what he is. It’s us that give them the power for their words to hurt. He is a nobody and his opinion is worthless, it’s the mind games and the destruction of your confidence that leads to giving his words any time whatsoever. He isn’t even original in his insults. Have you tried counselling. Insults are designed to undermine you, making you think inwards instead of outwards to the horrible nasty little man who says these things to his life partner x he chooses to do that. Shame on him. Idiot x
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You’re so right that it’s difficult to undo the damage and just unhear what they’ve said. I vividly remember a time when I tried several different reactions to his lecturing of me. The worst thing I did was remain completely silent. It enraged him and he spewed the most hateful things to me and it was nearly impossible to remain quiet. His words were 100% wrong, but so painful to hear that I NEEDED him to stop talking. Hopefully it’s helpful to know that anything they say is purely their own problem, not yours. Often what they’re saying is exactly how they feel about themselves. They are doing it completely for your reaction.
Unfortunately it never gets better, so if you think it’s magically going to stop.. or get better.. you’re wrong 🙁 I’m sorry that you have to deal with it. You’re also giving him exactly what he wants by believing any of the stuff he tells you. He’s the coward. He’s the liar. Let him lie in his own bed.
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