Thinking about my entitlement to house, finances & solicitor fees, but HOW

[Rubymurray]

Hi

various posts from me lately, going round and round with all the questions and what if’s..

anyway, If I’ve decided that my best suitable and safe way is for me to leave with young child (joint mortgage/house & married) to then go rent somewhere….. Im so worried about jeopardising my entitlement of my half of equity etc.

Ive had couple of calls and emails with solicitors, i dont have someone working on behalf of me, I dont have the money for solicitors. I’m unemployed and rely on long term health benefits. I had it confirmed that I wont get Legal Aid if I leave the home because Im over the threshhold of the amount of equity I will entitled to in the joint home. so this really scuppers me doesnt it?

From these thoughts, mediation has been mentioned on here and with some recent solicitors free advice….. it sounds like its not advised with these types of people and rarely successful, but he is the type of person who really really dislikes coming across as dishonest (even if he is being), he wants to be liked and to be everyones friend usually, even if he’s OTT about it, he wouldnt want to be seen as a bad person….obviously i’ve never seen him in this situation before….so who knows….

If I dont have money for solicitor to sort my entitlement of finances and house out AND divorce, what can I do, does anyone know?

I probably do need to try another legal advice agency, and maybe it will help me speaking on CHAT on here (which I haven’t done yet and Lisa has advised too). I could not get through to Rights of Womens for days of trying. I’m waiting on a reply from a solicitor still answering some questions….. but time is ticking on and Im eager for information to make next steps.

Has anyone been in similar situation with any advice ?? –

If he doesnt want to sell the house and tries to keep it and I am only assuming theres nothing stopping him dragging his heels, especially if i’ve not instructed a solicitor to help me, what choice do I have other than getting a solicitor, does anyone know of option of some of the fees being paid by him or taken off sale of house at the end or something?? I probably need to ask this question again to solicitors – theres always so much to take in isnt there….

OR would I suggest Mediation to him so that ive got the help of third party there (I couldnt do it on my own), – apparantly I was told I’d get Legal Aid for Mediation, is that helpful?? should I try it if it gets to that?

thanks

[Kazz]

Hi Rubymurray

Not sure I can offer much advice but I am in the similar situation currently going through a divorce and adviced by my solicitor to stay put in the house or I could lose it. For the sake of my children I would like to keep it as it is their home but (detail removed by moderator) on from filing for divorce and (detail removed by moderator) down so far I feel like I am in exactly the same position I was (detail removed by moderator) ago!
My partner like yours likes everyone to think he is a lovely, reasonable person and other people’s opinion of him matter but my solicitor recommended not using a mediator because he thought I would just cave in and agree to what he wanted as I’m not the most assertive person!
Anyway it is now going through the courts because he is not responded to anything or taking months to respond, and of course he wants the house, no idea how much more this will cost (the thought of how much debts I will rack up gives me sleepless nights), and how much longer this is going to take, and this is just finances it will be same again for child custody I assume.
If you think mediation is a possibility and can help you move forward it would be worth it and certainly be a quicker route than the nightmare I have ended up with. Good luck.

 

[KIP.]

Please talk to your local women’s aid. They may have access to experienced solicitors and can certainly guide you. You may be able to agree to pay your solicitor from the equity you get from the sale of the home. Make sure you’re telling people about the abuse including the GP. There is often extra funding for victims fleeing domestic abuse. Victim Support Scotland for example were offering up to £3k for victims fleeing so you could argue this could be used for a solicitor. Again your local women’s aid or victim support will have lots more information. Your equity will always be there so if you do move out you get a solicitor to mark your separation date and the value of your property on that date. He wont be able to sell without your permission and vice versa unless the court orders it. Imo the divorce can wait. It’s getting a legal separation date and proof of your entitlement then when you’re safe and out you can tackle the legal side of selling the property etc. Most solicitors offer free advice so take advantage, talk to several and pick their brains. In the meantime keep a journal and start gathering evidence of his abuse. I’d go off an occupation order, you may well get legal aid for that and get him out the house. Then you can take your time to gather your support network. My occupation order lasted till the divorce and financial settlement were finalised. If he says don’t talk to a solicitor, we can sort this ourselves, it’s because he’s trying to hoodwink you x

[Scottish Thistle]

I had similar worries about the house and kept staying for that reason I didn’t want to lose it – he came into the relationship with nothing so didn’t see why he could treat me as he did and get everything. I did end up leave the marital home Due to the verbal and threatening behaviour but with the help of my solicitor and supporting documents I was able to get an exclusion order for him from the house and interdict. I too was unable to get legal aid because of the house.
I offered him to buy me out he was all keen then said he couldn’t afford to with excuses why, he turned and said I could buy him out but would be expecting a lot more than what I wanted him to buy me out at. I don’t want the house so we are having to sell but he is yet again dragging him heels. Citizens advice should be able to give you a list of solicitors in your area who will work with legal aid or as mentioned woman’s aid. Most decent solicitors will find ways to help you financially – my ex’s solicitor stopped acting for him as he wasn’t responding to things and his behaviour when he did wasn’t acceptable for someone who was trying to help.

[Author]

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