This is my life now

[DinkyHorse]

Does anyone else feel like this is just how their life is now and it’s tough, feel like I’ll never get out! 🙁

[ISOPeace]

Yes I felt like that for a long time. I know it’s such a horrible way to live. It feels like such a waste of a life. But I did get out. xxxx

[DinkyHorse]

Thanks for your reply ISOPeace, it is horrible and I do feel like I’ve wasted/am wasting so much time putting him first and not myself! It’s comforting to know you got out, I’m glad for you and hope one day I’ll be happy too. x*x

[Gazebo]

This is exactly how I feel I feel so low when he’s around I have two little ones and just don’t see a way out 🙁 when he works a late shift I’m so happy but feel completely not myself and feel sick when he’s here and the dread the days ahead. Sorry your in this too xx

[DinkyHorse]

Sorry you’re in the same boat. It’s so tough when there are children, at least I don’t have to worry about that it could be worse. I always feel sick/stomach churning at the thought of just getting up and leaving I wish I had the strength to just do that.. Sending hugs xx

[Anonymous]

I remember feeling very trapped and had very dark thoughts as I saw no way out. I also had two little ones. I wish I had had Lundy Bancroft’s book Daily Wisdom for Why Dies He Do That? It would have provide inspiration, comfort and practical advice. It’s a brilliant book that gives you bite size chunks to read each day to keep you going abs will help you stay hopeful. It has practical tips for supporting your children as well. I have read and one back to many times.

[DinkyHorse]

Sorry you felt that way too, but you left in the end? Send your strength and courage my way. Maybe I could order the book and have it delivered to work or something.

[Anonymous]

Sorry about all the typos!

[Orangerainbow]

I would say to gather your support system around you. One day you will leave. Your life will not always be like it is, your inner person will guide you. There is help out there. Your life is precious and you do not deserve to be treated with with abuse, nobody does. You deserve respect and unconditionally love, starting with yourself. Take care.

[DinkyHorse]

Thank you for your comforting and encouraging words. x

[nbumblebee]

Yep 100% this is it this is me and my life.

[DinkyHorse]

Sending love and hugs we will get out! x

[nbumblebee]

I wish with all my heart some days most days that this is true but I wont ever leave I know that.
However I hope that you can find a way stay string this is not how your life should be and you deserve so much better.
Sending you hugs x

[Headspin]

Yes, but if I think about it too much I go down the rabbit hole. It’s really tough going.

[DinkyHorse]

I know it’s so tough..sending love and hugs we will get out! x

[Cantmakedecisons]

Please don’t give up. I know it’s really hard getting through each day let alone look to a happy/safe future BUT it is there. If I can escape then you honestly can.. it takes time, reassurance and lots of lots of belief. It isn’t an easy ride, but loving like you are isn’t easy either. You have to hold onto the faith that this isn’t it and your life is worth more. For now, until the next little step just be kind to yourself that you are doing all you can to gather strength and perspective. The hardest thing is accepting to ourselves that we’re worthy and capable.

Sending you virtual hugs and peace x

[DinkyHorse]

Thank you Cantmakedecisions. It’s really tough I’m so on edge all the time because I always think ‘Is today the day?’, stomach in knots, can’t think of anything else, whilst trying to act normal so that he doesn’t get the chance to talk me out of it.

Thanks for the virtual hugs and peace, much needed x

[Anonymous]

Hi Dinkyhorse, yes I did separate from him but I don’t think I could have done it without support from Women’s Aid and legal advice. It took years though and it was just a case of just keeping going. Your time will come. Sounds like you are already in the process of leaving as you are thinking about it a lot and you know you deserve to be happy and safe ultimately. You could Ring the WA helpline if you want to think about planning Keep posting here too as we are all here for you.

[DinkyHorse]

Oh that’s great I’m glad that you got out.
Thank you I think it will hopefully be soon because I can’t go on like this for much longer. I can’t actually wait to be free!
I’ve contacted my local abuse service.

[nbumblebee]

@dinkyhorse wow well done you thats a really brave move. Xxxxxxx

[Author]

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