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Hello ladies.
Recently I was in a situation where I had to be assertive in the outside world.
I found it difficult because I can’t be assertive with my husband as it makes life with him worse.
I’m so used to keeping quiet and not making a fuss.
He tells me not to be timid with people but on the odd occasion when I do stand up to him he gets verbally abusive. Does anyone else feel the same way. Take care. X. -
Yup! My husband did a wonderful job of diminishing my sense of self worth and making me 2nd guess myself.
When I needed to assert myself outside of the household, such as for work for example, I’d lean on my colleagues in order to get ‘sanity checks’ since I wasn’t –> feeling <– like my needs were valid, when in reality they were.
I’ve gotten better about that… still have ‘sanity checks’ from time to time. Even at worst, I’ll go to Mumsnet AIBU for a ‘sanity check’ in order to have a bit more confidence there.
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Hi toffeeapple, yes! I found it so hard to be assertive, to put my own personal boundaries in place as my self worth (and sanity) was on the floor.
What helped me with self worth was The Freedom Programme and the follow on course as these courses help to build up low self worth.When your husband says do not be timid with people he is excluding himself from that statement, he doesn’t include himself as he doesn’t want you to question him or stand up to him.
Do you have support?
HFH ❤️ -
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