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I’m feeling so sad today. It’s like for a few days I was feeling numb and now it’s hit me all at once. I feel so sad it’s hurting so bad. I’m going backwards in life while he is moving forwards. He looks happy. He’s doing things with his life and he couldn’t care less what he’s done to me for years. All the abuse and manipulation. And his now partner doesn’t see it. She thinks he’s perfect. I feel crazy genuinely crazy I don’t know how to keep going I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t want to get out of bed or do any hobbies I just sit there and zone out for hours doing nothing because it’s all my body can do
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You need to process all the feelings unfortunately. It’s kinda like grieving someone who isn’t dead, which is difficult when there’s the trauma bond.
Please try and block and delete anything to do with him. It’s the only way to move forward, as painful as it seems. Sometimes you gotta rip that plaster off.
She will be in the love bombing stage where he can do no wrong. He’s just baiting you, he probably doesn’t have a happy life at all, he’s bitter and twisted. They don’t change.
Go no contact and have an amazing beautiful life
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Some problems I’ve enjoyed working out for myself in this life.
But there have been some things where I’ve needed help. I’ve needed help from the people who have been there before, their experience has been invaluable. And from clinical psychologists who have learnt about certain kinds of personality styles and how they function and how they impact in others ( their ‘victims’). Also from people who have worked professionally with abusers and have experience from that side of the equation.
One thing that all of these people talk about, is that Abusers don’t change.
It’s hard to really take that on board. We always believe that love has the power of redemption. Or that somehow it’s something we do which causes them to be like this.They can’t change really. They won’t change. Nothing we do, or did, made any difference, or ever will.
Yes, it looks like everything is great for him now.
He’s ‘moving on’. With a new girlfriend.
maybe that’s because people are interchangeable to him? So losing you isn’t months of grieving and upset as it would be for a normal person. He can just replace you.
That’s his problem.Her problem is that he will become who he is and her life will be a misery. Maybe not now, of course not now, but within 6 months.
You won’t know it because she’ll hide it, like you did. But it will happen. I can guarantee that. -
He may appear to be moving forward in his life. I would say he’s just going round in circles. The same circle of misery.
You feel like you’re going backwards because you’re experiencing a reality check. You’re living a real life. You live in the real world, not the fantasy of his delusion.Feeling that way, to me, shows that you’re healthy and you will recover. You’re just realizing where you are, what this person has taken from you.
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