Today I’m leaving

[pookie1]

Today I am leaving my husband. Until two months ago I had no idea I was the victim of emotional abuse. It’s taken me years to get this point. Finding the strength to do this has been through finding groups like this, speaking to counsellors and friends and family for the first time in many years. This has remained hidden from view and I realise now that I’ve spent years suppressing my true feelings. I want to say to anyone else experiencing trauma, with or without kids, that you can rebuild your lives. Build a support structure, talk to people and know you’re not alone. I know the next phase will be very hard as he will become even more difficult but the difference is that now it’s out in the open it’s going to be harder for him to exert control. Taking away their control is the key. But I am being safe and so I don’t want anyone to worry. Plans are in place and my family are around me. Sending everyone lots of hugs as I think this group needs that more than anyone x

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Pookie1, well done for getting support, talking to loved ones and for getting out… keep pushing through, upu sound strong and aware of what’s next… keep posting ❤️ HFH

[pookie1]

Thank you. It’s early day but I already 100% lighter. I no longer feel sick every day. I’ve had some legal advice now and talking to people – I’m in control.

[hpsauce]

Sending you so much love and solidarity. You deserve to be respected and loved and most of all, to come first in your own life. So glad you have the support you need. You are an inspiration! X*x

[pookie1]

Thank you. I agree with everything you’ve said. I realise I haven’t trusted my own judgement or believed in myself for many years. That’s starting to change now and it’s amazing.

[Hazydayz]

Pookie 1, Good for you lovely! Keep believing in yourself. Wishing you all the happiness in the world 💕

[–Titanium–]

Good Luck and Well Done. My turn next week and I’m so scared but know it can be done! xx

[pookie1]

Best of luck and let me know how you get on. It’s only been 1 week for me and it’s amazing how quickly you move forward. There is no stopping me now. Gather as much support as you can and get legal advice. Take care x*x

[–Titanium–]

Thank you! I thought I was prepared mentally but it was so much harder than I thought. But I feel so much better already after just a couple of days, each day is another step forward! Enjoy your new found freedom xx

[Twix]

Well done Pookie1! You’ve taken such a brave step & I understand the feeling of not realising it was abusive until you do, it never crossed my mind even when some things didn’t feel right. I had nothing to compare it to being very young when we got together. You sound like you’ve got a strong network of support in place & we are definitely all here to pull you through x

[pookie1]

I honestly feel like I woken up. My reality and version of events has been skewed so often over such a long time that I no longer trusted my own feelings. Now I’m talking to people and reasoning I’ve been brainwashed into believing I was the problem. It’s insidious and over a prolonged period and that’s how it carries on. I’m finally feeling positive and in control and it’s transformational!

[Twitcher]

Hi Pookie1,

What a courageous, strong woman you are. I’m so pleased you’ve got a strong support network around you to help you through. I think all the ladies on here including myself will be holding your hand. Stay safe lovely and keep thinking of that silver lining x*x

[pookie1]

Thank you for your message. I’m much stronger than I realised. My inner sense of what’s right and wrong has ultimately got me to this point – that and seeing the kind of environment my kids were living in. For years I’ve been terrified of leaving but now I have legal advice I realise he’s misled me. The law is there to protect vulnerable women and children and the spotlight is very much on coercive control and emotional abuse.

[nbumblebee]

Gosh you really are amazing so brave and couragous.
If you can, let us know how you are getting on.
Now its your time to live a life you deserve sweetie surround yourself with all the love and support you can because you deserve it.
Be proud stand tall and smile.
Lots of love and luck xxxxx

[pookie1]

Thank you so much. I am standing tall today and whilst my kids have been upset ultimately they can see I’m no longer depressed and scared. I was basically hiding in the spare room for months. Now my mum is here and I’ve had legal advice. I could never go back. I’ve woken up and telling friends and family once felt like a betrayal somehow – no I realise my guilt and empathy was protecting him from harming me and kids.

[Footballfan1]

Well done for getting out.
You are incredibly strong and brave.
Lean on your support network, they will be your life line.
Keep posting and sharing.
I had a weird couple of days, I think I have PTSD and I had a very strong disaccociation for 3 days.
Longest I’ve had an episode.
At first it felt nice, but today I have felt very on edge, spaced out.
I have been resting in bed most of the day.
Luckily me and the kids went out early, got some exercise and fresh air.
We then just spent the rest of the day in my bed, all chilling.
I scraped myself together to cook tea, and feel better for eating.
I literally couldn’t eat all day, felt too sick.
I really don’t want another episode like I’ve just had. It frightened me.
X

[pookie1]

Sorry to hear you’re struggling. It comes in waves and it is very likely PTSD. I hope you can access therapy. You must look after yourself. I’m only a week down the line and already feeling like a new woman. I think I’m going through grief stages – feeling angry about how much he’s manipulated me for so long. I consider myself an intelligent person and he’s even convinced me I had mental health problems. All the things he’s accused me of are his behaviours. It’s all his problem. I’m a decent person trying to live my life and his fears and issues have crushed me. It sounds like you’re going through a similar process. I hope you’re out of the relationship or will be soon. take care x*x

[Garden elf]

Hi pookie 1 ,
Wow well done . You sound incredibly brave. I’m following with interest. You story sounds so familiar. I just lost my last parent and his behaviour to me has given me such a wake up call . My kids Left alone on the nights they were dying as I was there as they wanted to go at home -and on the night of the death out for 7 hrs – how he was going to buy things with my inheritance . I feel I’ve lost my confidence and friends. You story has been me hope . I’m glad you posted . Enjoy your freedom xx

[Author]

Posts