Trauma Bonding

[Itsjustusnow]

Hi there

Does anyone know how long it takes to break a trauma bond. I am (detail removed by moderator) weeks out and struggling and think its a trauma bond rather than anything else.

[Eyesopening]

I’m nearly (detail removed by moderator) months out, and its still hard. But steadily things do get better with time. x

[Itsjustusnow]

Thanks for the reply, did you have counselling?x

[Eyesopening]

Yes, i had 6 sessions from
My local DA Services.
I’m now waiting for more from (detail removed by moderator), also doing IESO. I think it takes alot of work to really recover. But the first couple of months were the absolute hardest. The third still hard but better. Then 3 months on and after are even better, but I don’t seem to see big differences from the 4th and on. But i seem at a steady place. I think ideally your doing counseling every week to really see results fast x

[Hereforhelp]

Hi, itsjustusnow. How are you doing? Trauma bonding is very hard to break as it is like a withdrawal, you crave him and your mind plays tricks by remembering the good times (we have all had good times or we wouldn’t have got together with our partners in the first place). It’s hard to break but can be done.
The trauma bond I have/had (still working on it, zero contact now but have to dig deep) with my husband was built over decades together, the women on this forum who pointed it out were spot on.
Keep posting ❤ you are not alone xx

[Itsjustusnow]

Hi Hereforhelp. I am doing ok but struggle when someone mentions his name. I am full no contact at the moment but luckily he has moved on anyway. I find evenings the worse as my special needs daughter is in bed and I get very lonely. I know in time this will pass but I wish it would hurry up xx

[Hereforhelp]

I feel the same x I also have a SEN daughter, looking after a SEN child is full on let alone with zero contact and all the feelings which come up with that. I am new to no contact and it’s hard, like withdrawal is how trauma bonding was explained to me and it’s true. We had a trauma bond from the start which was decades ago.
I take it daily, get through each day and Hooe it gets better. Have you done the Freedom Programme? I start it in January and can’t wait as I Hooe to move on after a feel stronger.
Lots of love ❤

[Pinkvelvet]

I really feel you on this one. I was debating texting him on Christmas Day to wish him merry Christmas, I was missing him a lot, but in the end chose not to. Turns out it was the right thing, as the next day he sent me messages, abusive, horrible, unprovoked messages, reminding me that he has not changed. He is still the same person. All the good times I’d been remembering were just ones I’d pocketed in my brain because that’s how I wanted all of the times to be. But in reality, it was 70% bad, 30% good.
It’s a terrible thing to go through, and it happens to so many of us, and trauma bonding is such a surreal thing to deal with. It will get better, hang in there. We all want better for ourselves and our lives, and ultimately that’s what’s brought us here. Take care.

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