Ummm just wanted to introduce myself.

[Breadandroses]

Hello
I have posted already and been flipping on and off this forum for a week.
I left my abusive relationship a long time ago although I very briefly found myself in another shortly after.
I am feeling a bit weird coming on here because I can see how many of you are living it right now and I am not. I feel I shouldn’t be here. But it has helped
I have been reliving to an extent recently partly due to my daughter having renewed contact with her father but also because I have gone to counselling.
Through counselling I have become aware of how much of my mental health issues are related to what happened.and how much i have never really dealt with or rather have ignored and ploughed on. Which is sad. I had convinced myself I was past it all.
Coming on here and reading other people’s posts has made me remember not just the bits i get flashbacks of. Strangely that is not a bad thing. That may sound odd as I have never forgotten but what I mean is really remember. It is like I pushed it all away. That is the past. Don t look back etc etc. I m glad I have done that as that is how I have moved on but at the same time I have spent (detail removed by Moderator) years avoiding some things and also forgetting the way i somehow kept going it was for my daughter. I have immersed myself in a career and my child. Now it is coming out again in my body, my anxiety and certain things have happened that gave made it harder for me.
I moved away to a new place years ago although i had lived there before and very few people know here just some old friends who I renewed friendships with again. They sort of know but weren’t t there for a long time. Of course. I was cut off from them They did welcome me back with no judgement for which I am grateful. I have never told new friends anything.
I did have one new friend here, a man surprisingly there are some good ones. He and I were just friend’s but he asked me once if that is what had happened , he guessed as maybe people do but he asked as that is what he was like. I found myself able to talk to him and then we just carried on being friends. He died suddenly recently and unexpectedly and it seemed to trigger my mental health. He was someone I actually used to be able to vent at and be angry with when my daughter had contact before. He was incredibly silly and funny and would eventually make me laugh. He also had a grand piano and although I am rubbish and he was very talented he would let me play it for hours and I could just be calm. I need him right now and he is not here. How selfish eh.

I want to thank all you brave women who are posting on here. I can hear him saying to me a long time ago now as I read your posts…but you got through it, you are incredible to have survived that I really want to say to you all keep reaching out, speaking out is so hard and for me always has been. My family still can’t call it domestic abuse and it is never mentioned and there are so many areas of my life I want to say something but feel i have to keep quiet about it. I was recently sent on a course at work to inform me about dv and its impact I had to listen to people’s comments and questions and sat there thinking. Wow you really don’t know that happens…how nice that must be.
So reading what you are writing makes me feel so much gratitude to Women’s Aid and to my support worker who was a survivor.
I just want to say to you all. Keep going small steps keep talking. Even if you only find one person you can trust to talk to. Do it.
I’m not sure I will stay on this forum as I feel I am in a different place. When I was asked in the chat place Are you safe? I was able to say yes. I want that so much for you all

[Lisa]

Hi Breadandroses,

Thank you for sharing this post and for your kind wishes for the other women here.

This forum is for any woman who has experienced domestic abuse at any point in her life, you are more than welcome here. There are women at all different stages, including those who left a long time ago. If you’re finding it helpful to be here (and it sounds like you are so far), please do stay and keep posting. Your experiences are valued here and, as well as being helpful for you to share, are useful for other users to read about. A lot of women who are with their abuser or who have recently left find hope hearing about the progress of those who left some time ago.

Take care and keep posting (if you decide that’s the right thing for you),
Lisa

[Dino]

Hi Breadandroses,

Thank you for posting on here, it is so worth you being on this site, I’m sure your words are inspiring, helpful & giving hope to all of us going through DA.

I’m so sorry you lost a true friend & confident, it sounds like he was so much help to you, so please stay on here, I’m sure you’ll find it helpful as will all the other victims on here, I found your story very inspiring & thats what I need at the moment, lots of hopeful stories of people who’ve made it to the other side ‘freedom’, we can help each other as we deal with each stage of the process.

It sounds like a lot of victims who have gone through this do end up suffering from PTSD, which is not surprising as the abuse can be happening for years/decades as in my case, so you need help & support which I hope your getting.

Good luck in the future ❤️ Dino

[Hiya@]

Hi BreadandRoses
Thank you for posting, if this is helpful for you. Everyone who posts here has a story to tell, to ask for help or support, to read about people leaving horrendous situations and surviving.
I appreciate your supportive words today when I am not feeling particularly strong or brave.

Xx

[Author]

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