Unsure how I’m feeling

[Drainedallthetime]

So, believe it’s been a couple of years since I last posted anything. And let me tell you the last (detail removed by moderator) have been the most normal since the start of the relationship… he finally said no, stopped the smoking and got on track to being the person I knew he always could as we welcomed our DD into the world. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying he’s changed he’s a new man and so on but things were heading in the right direction there were next to no arguments, our arguments weren’t even arguments anymore just disputes which ended within the hour. Let’s just say there’s been a whole lot of growth. Until (detail removed by moderator)

I don’t even know what I’m feeling as it’s been a while but who knew a conversation about food could kickstart a full blown argument and here we are “just like the old times”. I know, probably crazy for even thinking there was a light at the end of the tunnel but going from arguing everyday constant abuse in every way shape or form to less and less as time went on and then into the past close to a year literally nothing a complete 360. And now this.

Has anyone else had this in terms of prolonged amount of time where everything is just “great” I guess, because this is a first for me, since the start of the abuse and maybe it’s just a one off but I really don’t want to be that naive because 1 turns into 2 and 2 into 3 and so on…

[Lisa]

Hi,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Abusive men choose to be abusive- the fact there has been a prolonged amount of time with no abusive behaviour- show he is in control of what he is doing. the good parts can also form part of the pattern of domestic abuse- you hold onto those good times and it hurts even more when the abuse starts again. We do not often hear of abusive relationships improving due to this.

I can understand this feels really challenging to navigate especially if you feel there has been growth and the relationship was going in the right direction. you are not naive or crazy- its understandable you want things to get better.

Take care and keep posting

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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