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Sometimes I still can’t quite believe that I’m posting in this section. Never thought I’d get here, but here I am, and here I’ll remain. The early days and weeks weren’t so much hard,but my emotions were all over the place. Couldn’t get my head around the fact that I actually did it, I walked out on him. I love being on my own, closing my front door and knowing I’m not going to get any grief or hear him shouting about how bad his day’s been, I do still get that over the phone, not quite broke off all contact but I am getting there😊 I like that I can pour myself a drink without it causing a stoorie, I can even jyst have one and the rest can sit fir weeks or it goes down the sink. I’ve not had to use anything that’s not good fir me to help me and I’m so proud of that, but I would if I’d had to. I smile now so much more, thinking that I do makes me smile. Don’t have anyone accusing me of thinking of someone else anymore, he never believed me that I was smiling for no reason, in the end I just stopped. My weight is evening out, I’m back at pilates, back at my monthly meetings. I’m knitting and reading again. I go to bed when I want and if early enough I wake up and get up. Used to just pull the covers over me,dread having to face the day. There’s a few things I can’t do, like visit my dad at night, but that’s because of where I stayed and my dad’s proximity to it. I’m wearing my clothes again that he always said I couldn’t unless I was with him. I’m wearing makeup most days, dont when I dont feel like it. Lord I’m even spraying perfume 😂 my house is reasonably tidy, considering it’s refuge accommodation and there’s no storage space. I’ve started recently cooking meals just for me, wasn’t eating rubbish but was only doing soups, beans on toast etc. Still healthy choices but couldn’t get into cooking a dinner. Ive had 3 now,in over 6 months, but its a start. I’ve also got money in my purse fir the first time in years.
Just wanted to let you know that life after leaving can be better.
Love,light and strength to you all
IWMB 💞💞 -
Thinking of you smiling and the glee you’re taking from simple things also makes me smile! Get where you’re coming from completely with posting in this section, it seemed to take a while for you to make the leap, but then you did get all your ducks lined up, which is best if you can hey – and you did it! You also knew for sure in your heart and mind that there is no going back, it was only ever going to be about getting out and doing what you need to recover and step forwards. Sometimes quick exits mess with the heart and this leads to poor decisons made hey, you made a clean break IWMB – once you’d decided it was done it was done and I think this helped a great deal, you decided what was right for you and gave this to yourself – responded to you. You are a shining example of being / remaining true to yourself x*x
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Reading your post really put a smile on my face IWMB! You are doing so well and your contentment shows. I smile because I feel all the same things as you. I do still feel a little sad sometimes for him but it doesn’t last long. I love my life now, love being single and alone and actually looking forward to Christmas for the first time in years because I can truly relax. Continue to blossom honey xx
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I couldn’t be more happy for you x
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Hi ladies and thank you. I can’t say I’m looking forward to Christmas, BUT, yesterday I bought a few new Christmas decorations and organised with my daughter to go to hers on Christmas night. I can feel the tiniest bit of Christmas excitement starting in the pit of my tummy, will just go with the flow. I remember saying last year that I’d never spend another Christmas like the one I’d had, here’s to new memories and a happier time.
IWMB 💞💞 -
Congratulations. I am so glad for you. This will be my third Christmas out, and I am finally starting to be able to think about it without abuse related anxiety. I also just bought some Christmas decorations, and am making some more put of paper – there are lots of good instructions on Pinterest. This will be my first Christmas in my own home since I left my abuser, and I am excited about making it beautiful.
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