Very up and down first post

[Charlie]

I can agree with lots of these post very sad moments.
It’s been (detail removed by moderator), work Xmas night out the love of my life, stole my innocence. He had one of his dissappearing acts out till the early hours, he did this rarely but would do it in style when he did. Long story short, he came home drunk and attacked me, I ran pantless to the nearest safe place, police called first time in our relationship. Maybe there were emotional abusive signs.
I did go through with it to court, all the way along, felt 1001 different emotions, shut myself away and the s**t thing is I miss him terribly. He’s now telling our joint friends how sorry he is he regrets it, he shouted sorry to me, in front of poeple. I agreed to a (detail removed by moderator) restraining order. I have an empty sick feeling in me all the time, how to move forward. My body feels stressed and tired most of the time, and I’ve been so publicly embarrassed, everyone in my close community knows about this. All I wanted was him now I have to see him and all my friends just say hi to him as it’s awkward. I feel suffocated by this most of the time…….

[Ayanna]

Can you move somewhere else? That usually helps a lot. Getting away from the people who know what happened and who know both of you, putting an end to receiving information about him.

[Charlie]

That would be a good idea but he moved into my fmy flat which is a really nice one. He did reckon the flat that night costing me a fair bit to fix and I kind of felt he stepped into my world and community but he also befriended them all so that they still see it as a nice guy who did the wrong thing that night. Your right though there is memories everywhere and makes it hard for me to move on. Everyone does look at me a bit sympathetic now and that’s rubbish but they still would be friendly to him. The dreaded Facebook shows me that a number of poeple support him on facebook, men I add, they seem to see no wrong in him but I know how believable he is. It’s just created such an empty feeling I never had so much before and I’m hoping the lost feeling will tend to ease. I still cry at a drop of a hat when I think I’ve p****d someone off, or i get challenged, not even in a bad way, but I’m quite sensitive still. Don’t know my own reactions very well at the moment. I never thought it would have such a large impact on me, it was only one night he was physical and lost it, but one night more than I ever needed in my memories. Thanks for your reply

[Author]

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