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KIP..
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3rd May 2018 at 7:39 pm #57961
Indiansummer
ParticipantHi ladies,
I haven’t been posting for a while now. Life has moved on very quickly after I separated with my ex.
He’s in prison now (charges unrelated to our relationship). Am I too crazy to visit him with our children?…i feel that I’m still clinging into a hope that he can stay a father to them.
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3rd May 2018 at 9:14 pm #57971
Tiffany
ParticipantGiven that he abused you and is in prison for unrelated charges I would seriously ask yourself if he is someone who you want in your child’s life…
I tried to be really fair to my ex when I was leaving. It sounds like you are feeling the same. Ultimately though, my ex would have continued to bleed me dry if I hadn’t gone no contact. I honestly suspect that for your sanity no contact is also vital. If you do truly feel that you want him to see the kids then get someone else to take them. If no one will then take that as a sign that it is a bad idea.
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4th May 2018 at 12:33 pm #57999
Indiansummer
ParticipantHi Tiffany, thank you for your reply.
He used to be a great father , which is why I’d love to think that he can overcome his addictions and get back to some sort of normality in his life ..
I’m just anxious not to fall into a vicious cycle of abuse again and let him control my life in any way.
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5th May 2018 at 2:45 pm #58026
Tiffany
ParticipantIt’s ok to put your needs first. And not getting abused again is an important need.
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5th May 2018 at 3:02 pm #58028
KIP.
ParticipantNo father is a good father when he abuses the mother of his children. The children are badly affected when they are subjected to third party abuse. How can you give your children the help they need to grow strong and healthy when your mental heath and often physical health is being destroyed. I would say to protect you and your children from this criminal. Keep any contact to a very minimum. Once you allow contact it’s very difficult to reverse. Your gut is telling you he will try to control your life again as soon as he can. The cycle of abuse will continue. Listen to your gut. Take this opportunity to get barriers and boundaries in place. In my experience these men never change and the abuse always gets worse. I’m sure you’ve given him chance after chance. Time to put yourself first x
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