Was I raped or am I overreacting?

[Lovelyonex]

Sorry for the essay, I’ve been talking to this guy on an off for awhile, we have mutual friends, but this was the first time that we had met in person. But as the days have gone by I’m starting to remember things that happened and a lot of things don’t sit right with me.

 

So firstly, I was the one who drove on this date. He told me he had car problems so I had to end up picking him up. I’m not judgemental so I did it. He does cocaine whereas I just drink occasionally but I wasn’t aware I only realised on our date what he’s really about. He (action removed by Moderator) while I was driving several times and I started to get annoyed and told him to stop. the first time it seemed a bit playful but then he kept doing it and harder. I know I give off a vibe that naturally allows others to feel comfortable, but I think the first line was crossed there. He’s (number removed by Moderator) years older than me so I’m not sure if he just likes to feel in control. We were drinking and I was a lil tipsy but nothing too crazy, but details seem to be coming back to me in intervals.

 

 

We went to eat and he kept trying to kiss me and in a very intense way it wasn’t like just a peck on the lips. It was very full on and I felt uncomfortable and I told him to stop because we’re in a public place. I’m also quite introverted so you can imagine that this was out of my comfort zone. He seems chaotic and during the night he did trauma dump on me about his childhood and stuff, but like I said I know I have that nurturing energy and people tend to feel safe around me, so I didn’t mind it at the time.

 

I’m not sure if I should’ve drew the line here, but we ended up going back to mine and just chilling out for a bit we did have sex. I enjoyed it at first, but after a few long rounds, I was literally done and he was finding it hard to finish and told me this was because the cocktail of drugs that he had done. But it literally got to a stage where my body could no longer take it and he kept trying to continue. I told him that I can’t do this anymore several times and I’m in pain trying to push him off me and he proceeded and at one point I was literally just lifeless whilst he was still on top of me, sweating buckets I just feel disgusted when I remember those moments in my head & they keep replaying.

He even said to me during “(quote removed by Moderator)“. When I look back, I feel like it happened several times throughout the night, he just kept coming back into the room and f*****g me, even to the point where he had to (detail removed by Moderator). I remember it happening in my (room names removed by Moderator). After he ran out of energy, he tried to cuddle with me and kept kissing my forehead and asking me if I’m okay which looking back was very confusing. I didn’t really have anything to say at the time and he left the room which then I had a panic attack. I think this was due to what my body had just been put through I was pushed way over my limit. I’d literally never felt like this after sex ever. He wasn’t aware of the panic attack. But my body literally went into shock but it’s only as days have gone on that I’ve realised that this wasn’t okay. I’ve literally been in pain for (number removed by Moderator) days. I’ve had to wfh because I could barely walk for the first (number removed by Moderator) days. I’ve also noticed the way that he talks to and about other women in his life is even the way he spoke about his mother too so he’s clearly got some mother wounds, even though I know this doesn’t justify his actions.

 

I’m just not sure how to feel about this all. he has checked in on me and called me several times and just keeps asking me if I’m okay but cuts the Convo short go into depth about the night. as my memory comes back to me he clearly knows that something was wrong. I got really emotional last night when thinking about it all and I’m usually a tough cookie so I’m not sure what happened. I feel this weird unspoken energy between us, but I just want to know if I’m overreacting?

 

I’m not a confrontational person and I don’t want to start drama with him. After checking on me for the first (number removed by Moderator) days he’s gone quiet he hasn’t blocked me or anything but hasn’t said a peep but has gone very quiet on social media too.

[Anonymous]

I think you were raped and then raped again …  I do not think you are overreacting.

I am sorry this happened to you. It is good that you wrote the description of the events on the Forum site because it is evidence. I hope your body and mind recovers soon and you can decide whether to report this to the police.

A man who (action removed by Moderator) and hurt you whilst you were driving. Hurting you and interfering with your capacity to drive. There you have it – the guy is a b—–d. He abused you and assaulted you. (detail removed by Moderator). You say you give of a “vibe that naturally allows others to feel comfortable, … and you’re not sure if he likes to feel in control.” It seems your friendliness has been misread by this man who was testing you right away with how much he could get away with you.

I am wondering if a medical check could help you as you say you felt physical internal pain. This is also evidence to use against him. (detail removed by Moderator). You are worthy of respect and this man is definately a moron and an alleged rapist. Should be in prison and have a criminal record. No doubt the b—–d will repeat his (action removed by Moderator) test with others.

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